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Again and Again...

TRANSLATIONS
[JS] again and again and again and again
[JB] again and again and again and again

[WY] why am i standing like this in front of your house again, am i a fool
getting tricked again and again, and suffering again and again
but why am i at this place again

[JH] i think i’ve gone crazy, have i no pride
i come back to you, like going around and around in a circle
saying ‘i can’t be like this (like this, like this)’,
i’m being like this again today, no

[JS] again and again and again and again
i keep going back to you. i don’t know why, i don’t know why
[JB] again and again and again and again
i fall for your words again. i don’t know why, i don’t know why

[NK] why do i seem like such a fool
why did i become like this
i made a firm decision, again and again
why do i keep coming back to you

[JH] i think i’ve gone crazy, have i no pride
i come back to you, like going around and around in a circle
saying ‘i won’t ever see you again (see you, see you)’,
i’m being like this again

[JS] again and again and again and again
i keep going back to you. i don’t know why, i don’t know why
[JB] again and again and again and again
i fall for your words again. i don’t know why, i don’t know why

[CS] what kind of medicine are you, that i can’t give it up
even without me knowing, i keep yearning for you, and eventually look for you again
though i know you’re a bad girl, i embrace you and love you again
undoubtedly, clearly, i want to come towards you
knowing all the pains of tomorrow, i can’t turn around, i can’t decide

[TY] darn it, why am i like this, why am i lying next to this girl
how many more times do i have to do this for me to come to my senses
someone, tie me down somewhere, quickly, please
she’s a bad girl, i know (i know), but here i go again. oh no

[JS] again and again and again and again
i keep going back to you. (i’m going back to you) i don’t know why, i don’t know why
[JB] again and again and again and again (i keep coming back)
i fall for your words again. (even i) i don’t know why, i don’t know why
[JS] oh, oh, yeah

Credits: Mnet + crazykyootie@soompi

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I like these lyrics... Love is blind and we are forever doing something against our own pride and the voice shouting in our head. Hopelessly in love... That's what the phrase means.

I often wonder what's the percentage of people who follow their hearts more than their brains when they are really in love. I mean REALLY IN LOVE. Not in love for the sake of having someone love them or having someone to love. And what is the percentage of married couples that are really in love.

I heard from someone before that LOVE DOESN'T LAST FOREVER. What comes next is RESPONSIBILITY. So there are so many divorces cos people aren't as responsible anymore? Or is it that new age girls now ask for equality now that we have the same earning power as guys? Or is it that guys still have the same concept of the past, and they do not want girls stepping into their realm of power?

最近听到了太多分分合合。难道人的 “爱” 就尽尽如此吗？

太多的纠纷，太多的烦恼，太多的争吵。。。

太少的理解，太少的沟通，太少的忍让。。。

小时候的世界飞去哪了？

那个充满童真，快乐，合群，礼让的世界去哪了？

小时候的我，希望快快长大。因为成人让我觉得成人的世界无比的快乐。

但当我慢慢成长，我发现成人的世界有无比的忧伤，无比的争斗。

为了保护自己，我们伤害他人。

为了金钱，我们损人害己。

为了名利，我们不择手段。

害人害己，自相残杀。。。

不断的，每天的，这样过着。。。

“爱” 去哪了？

Motivation for Studies

http://www.exampapersexpert.com/motivation-1.html

I just have to let it out

@#%^&*()(*&^%$#$%^*()^%$#$%^

I wanna puke. You make me feel damn stressed. The moment you step into the door, my whole stomach clench, I feel sleepy and I want to sleep.

You nv ever admit your mistakes do you? You are always right, always guessing the right thing, always the one who makes the call. I am already living the life that you want me to live. Is that not enough for you? What more do you want?

I am already telling myself constantly to just accept what you want. To live my life the way that you want me to. I am already giving way, why do you want to push me to the corner of my life?

I am tired. I feel better without having to live up to your expectations. What you see in life is just a different point of view as compared to me. It's not whether who's right or wrong. Why do you have to make me see things from your point of view at all times? Why?

Why am I always wrong and you always right? Don't you realise that you are the one committing to the 'crimes' that you blame me for? I will say that I'm always in the wrong, cos that's how you like it. Now you are cleverer in that you realise that the "I'm in the wrong" nv comes out from my heart.

But I wonder, do you really know me? You know I am distancing myself from you cos I show it. Will you know if I don't show it? Don't give you the cold eye?

I don't even know how I should look at you anymore. Other than disappointment, there's no other words to describe how I feel about you.

Sorry if you are reading my post and feel that I am babbling. Cos I really am. I just have to let it out.

See no EVIL, hear no EVIL, say no EVIL

I really don't like being in this situation. I don't want to see anything, hear anything, or speak about it. I don't want to know it.

I have been through it. I thought that I was finally out of the vicious cycle. I thought I was finally free. But there it is again - giving me the evil smile. It was always there.

When I thought that finally life was great for me, it has to come tumbling down. Perhaps this is real life, with its ups and downs. But isn't this 'down' to great to handle time and again?

I want to run away from it. I don't want to face it again. I don't want to know about it. I don't want to handle it. I have enough of it. I want to be happy, I want to be free, but yet, I can't not be a part of it. Cos it's family...

The 3Ps in good educators

I have been talking to different educators from different levels as well as aspects. Be it from pri/sch or higher level schools, religion, music schools, etc. I only managed to really come to a conclusion, about being an educator, today.

What makes good educators GOOD? I realised that it revolves around 3 main traits, mainly what I call the 3Ps: Patience, Passion and Perseverance. A good educator basically has this 3 traits somehow or rather.

It sets me thinking... In Singapore, what's the percentage off educators with these 3Ps?

Stalker...

I have slowly becomed the person that I didn't want to be... I don't wanna track you down, look at ur mails, check your phone records, look at your fb, find out everything about you... I feel like a stalker... I have degraded myself... I lost confidence... I lost my shine...

What exactly happened to me? Trust... seems so hard to do sometimes... How do I build it back up? how?

New...

I have a new feeling about 'love' after watching a certain drama.

Sometimes, loving is to let go. Free the person so that he/she can look for happiness. This takes a bigger love to do as compared to selfishly keeping them by your side even though they might be unhappy.

Love doesn't have to be exciting/very romantic/nervous/butterflies in the stomach. It can be comfortable/secure too. It is romantic when your partner looks into the details of your life. Simple things like drying your hair, drawing circles on your hand can be romantic too :)

I want to write a new song with this whole new feeling about 'love'.

溫嵐-傻瓜 KTV

I gave my trust to you, and...

Define GROWING UP

You know, some times I always think about how people grow in size but never ever mature. They don't become more resourceful, thoughtful, caring. They don't grow in both IQ or EQ. Or perhaps they do improve on their IQ but not EQ.

How do you gauge growth? By size or by their maturity? It doesn't mean that a person after 21 is grown up. Yes, they are legally an adult. But they aren't literally.

The Earth is round

The Earth is round, what starts from you comes back to you.

I totally agree!

I came across an article from straits times online regarding singapore birth rates and I find that what the professor said about the situation in singapore totally true. The article is titled, "Fathers, please step up".

'A fertility rate of 1.23 children per woman indicates that life is not that optimal for young women in Singapore. You can gather from that that Singapore women have to make a choice, either to have children or to have an active professional career,' he says.

http://www.straitstimes.com/BreakingNews/Singapore/Story/STIStory_525556.html

Will this situation change for the better with the newer generation? Or will the boys now follow in the footsteps of their fathers? I wonder...

Love... indescribable...

Love can be so many things at the same time. It has existed since humanity begins or maybe perhaps longer than that. It can be so confusing and yet so simple, so big and yet so small. I wonder if I can ever grasp the whole meaning of it by the end of my life journey.


I watched a show that inspired me to do more for someone you love. Sometimes, love, is about letting something grow, even when you want to help it. Just like a butterfly. You need to let it squeeze out of the small hole by itself in order for it to fly later on.

Sometimes, beauty/dreams/achievements take a lot of effort/pain/struggles to make it come true. But it is worth it in the end. And love, is to watch your loved one go through the whole journey, without trying to stop their growth.

Super Irritating Day

Why is everyone like against me today? Argh?!?!?!

Reminding myself: "Don't get vulgar!"

I am so pissed that my hands are shaking... Peace people... Peace!!!

Great April!

I started my month of April great, with my baby coming out from camp. I have many plans to fulfil. I need to sit down soon to plan it well so that I will follow through.

I want to learn driving, get myself started on saxophone lessons, make myself go for a swim at least once a week and eat right (as much as possible).

Today started really happy. Here's just a glimpse of it :)

Freedom?

I quited my job so as to have some time for myself before university starts. I kindda enjoy the quiet moments at home by myself. Perhaps I have been used to being with myself since young. So I kindda like it even till now.

The joy of sitting on the bed with a nice book, with nice music playing is a heaven on Earth. But I find that as time goes by, we grow up and suddenly, we don't seem to have the freedom to do that anymore. We're either tied up with school work/job/house chores, etc.

There are some things that can wait. There are some things that can be arranged to be done together. I am someone who has to plan to do something. Why is it that I have to follow the life of another? Why am I made to do the same as others?

I like quiet time before I go to sleep. I like to prepare my brain and body for sleep by doing something that doesn't need the a high usage of brains or physical strength. I don't like to do work or house chores before I sleep. Why can't I live that way?

Who made a rule saying that we have to work our whole life other than sleeping? What's the joy in doing so if you can't even enjoy some parts of your life? There's always a time to do certain things and for me, resting comes first before household chores.

The fake idea that our elders gave us were all wrong. They told us that we'll have more freedom when we grow up, they told us that we can make our own choices when we're older. But the actual fact in life is that you have to make others happy. You have to do what others expect you to do. You have to live up to others expectations. You have your role to fulfill. And what freedom do you have?

Yes, you have the freedom of choice. But you HAVE to make the choice that makes others happy... Even when it's at the sacrifice of yours. So that's what being an adult is. Because you are older, you have to think about others and what they feel. Because you are older, you have to lead a good example.

What is good? what is bad? Everyone's definition is different and you have to live up to the highest level in order to make others happy.

I'm tired... I am tired of leaving life the way others want. I want to do things MY WAY... Without caring about how others feel. I am tired of having to follow what others want and somehow make it my choice. Do others bother that you made the choice because of them? I bet they don't. They will just say, "You are not there yet. You have much more to learn/do." No appreciation given. And when you choose you way, they'll blame you for it. When will it ever end?

The people who chooses to do things their way from the start gets their way in the end. They NEVER EVER have to do anything. They NEVER EVER get scolded for not taking the initiative to do anything. They get praised for every single little thing that they do, even if it's their own things. They are forgiven for not helping.

What is the world coming to? Why is it that the people who do more are expected to do even more? Because they deserve it for doing what others want and they want to make others happy?

Perhaps it's true that the bad kids always get more attention. They always get more love cos others think that they are behaving that way for a reason unknown. People like unknowns.... Sadistic people living in a creepy world.

I want to do my things MY WAY... But do I have the chance to?

Restless

Been out of the sales coordinator job since last Friday so that I can focus on what I need/want to do before uni as well as consolidate my uni forms. Never knew that it could be so tiring to do all these. I remember poly being so much easier. There's like so much things to do and I just can't sit down and get it done. Just the thought of it makes me tired. I wanna see my baby!

Can't wait till tml.

Putting yourself in others shoes

Putting ourselves into others shoes... How many of us can truly say that we have done that? Everyone have imperfections, but they have their good points too... I feel that as people age, they tend to be more and more negative... Is it due to the fact that they feel that life is short? Or do they have regrets in life? Or is it that the more they see, the less hopes they have regarding life.

I believe that a good leader remain firmly in his hopes and believes. He will not let negativity set in to sway him from the path that he believes in. But of many of us can really say that we are good leaders? Will we remain positive till the day we die? I hope I do... I hope that I can gain more wisdom and smile at everything that passes me, whether "good" or "bad". I want to be an old woman with wisdom and not one that only grudges.

I really hope...

The Painful Fact of Life

Do you have times when you feel that your close ones are like your greatest threat on earth? That maybe they are the one that can hurt you most and make you stumble along your path (perhaps towards sucess - you don't really know if it's success because you never ever get to even walk till the end).

Sometimes I feel lost and disappointed. People closest to you are what we always think of as your best supporters. But somehow or rather, they can become your worst stumbling stone. They can make you fall the hardest... And that's because you gave them the full trust that they will not make you fall and even help you through you hardest times.

I am going through a big change in my life. And the saddest thing is that everyone think I can, other than my close one. Everyone puts faith in me, but my own family member thinks I'm shit. There is no point in proving to others how good you are. I never like doing that. The main reason - I see no point.

I am who I am. I think what I want to think. I make my own choices. And I need no one to judge me because no one person is good enough to judge another. And this is what I constantly remind myself too. No one's too successful, no one is a failure too. Unless that person makes himself one.

My heart and mind feels as heavy as a stone now. She, who always says how much she understands me completely loses me and my thoughts. Now I wonder, how much does she understand me? If she does, she wouldn't be saying all these pessimistic things now. And instead me there to help me make things happen.

Everyone's tired from the work as well as studies that they have to do everyday. Who's not tired at all. Everyone just have to bring in their hearts together to make things work. Nothing is achieved alone. There's always a team to do it. And why bother who does more and who does less? The point is to get it done and over with. Is this even so hard to do?

It's not how good you are, but whether you want to make time and put your heart into it.

Random

I just realised how long I've not blogged... Haha... Maybe all my friends have taken me out of the "to read" list... LOL...

Anyway, life's busy as usual. I think I have not even logged onto msn for like months... Haha... I miss my friends, also the usual. I was so happy that I was able to have Ginny, Siew Ting and Pei Ling come over on New Year's eve for the countdown. Hopefully, they've enjoyed themselves enough to come over again next year.

Baby's birthday coming soon. Gonna get busier... I still haven't thought of what I should get for him. He has so little things that he wants... Haha... Human is just so confused... When others have too much requirements, we get frustrated... And when others don't have any requirements, we can't make up our mind... LOL... Or maybe it's just me... I am simply demanding... Haha!

I feel so fortunate for everything around me. I've got supportive family, a super good bf, easy-to-get-along colleagues, a challenging youth group and a still considered healthy body... Thank god... Truely...