Feeling damn pissed now. Don't feel like talking to anyone. Just feel like tearing everything apart. Haven't felt this way for a long time le.. It's terrible. Got a feeling that we would quarrel soon. Actually almost on the verge of quarreling just now le. All my fault, should have settled my own stuffs myself. And I shouldn't have let out my emotions on him. Damn, I feel like crying now. Damn stressed out, but no one too help me. Wanted to talk to him just know de, kindda hoped that I'll feel less stressed and brighten up. But who noes it turned out worst. Tot I really knew him but I just realised I know NOTHING! NOTHING AT ALL! sigh... Dunno who to turn to now. So lost. So sad. So lonely. So unhappy. So stressed. So tired of everything. Sigh. I screw up our first month. WTH. What's wrong with me????????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Argh... Been so stressed up these few days... Gotta chiong IDEA business proposal ans then next week a lot of test coming up also... Dying soon le.
MONDAY - IDEA final presentation (still doing)
TUESDAY - REMT written test (haven study)
WEDNESDAY - Maths test (i not scared)
FRIDAY - Math assignment dued

SHIT MAN!!! SHIT!!!!

Can someone just save me from this miserable life? Haha. But although this course very stress I still dun regret choosing this course. I love DMAT!!! DMAT rocks!!!

Despite how i tried to control my thoughts, I just kept thinking of him... Hong Xi can u get out of my head!!! Argh... Pissed off with myself... Especially when he give me the heck attitude... So sad...

Think I better go back and concentrate on getting my proposal done!!! C'ya!!!

I love all of you guys who read my blog!!! God bless you guys!!!

THANK GOODNESS!!!

Yesterday I went home and found out that I left my thumb drive stucked in the library computer. I completely forgot to take it out after doing IDEA's business proposal in the library yesterday. I was so worried and I was on he verge of crying. What if it was gone? What if someone took it?

I wasn't worried about the fact that it was a 2G thumb drive but more of what was inside it. I couldn't do anything when I found out that I left it in the library. The damn library closes at 6pm and when I found out that I left it in school, it's already after 6pm. So I had no choice but to wait till today to check it out. I didn't even want to give tuition at that point of time when I found out, but of course I still did.

Rachael did her work yesterday. So at least she didn't add on to my emotional tiredness. On the contary, she was really good yesterday.

Anyway, I found my thumb drive in the end. Haha. So happy. I'll be more careful in future.

<<< DYING SOON >>>

Thought I would be late for class again... I reached at 9.10am but the class has only about 15 people the most... More than half the course people isn't here yet... So shocked sia... The most shocking thing is that our lecturer just stepped into class only at 9.15... Haha...

Shit liao... Next week a lot of tests and deadlines!!! AAAARRRGGHHHHH!!!!!!! Mama!!!

Went to meet Hong Xi today to let him try the shirt i bought him... I love that shirt!!! Haha... So as I said, he went into the toilet to change into the shirt i bought... So i hold his stuffs and wait outside the toilet for him... Haha...

And when he came out of the toilet, it's like "WAOH!" It's so nice... Haha... And when he went in to take out the tag and he camt out with the sleeves folded up, i felt heat rushed up my face... GOODNESS! I was blushing! WTH!

After meeting him... I went to do express manicure and pedicure..
Wahaha... So happy!!!

Alumni band having concert on 19th August... At Nanyang Girls's Auditorium... Tickets are at 10 bucks... Tell me if you guys wanna go wor!

Just now had to do recording for REMT assignment... So tired... Had to be in school at 9.30am... But at least we managed to complete it... Haha... =P

Anyway, I just realised how much I didn't know about recording and using PRO TOOLS... I die for sure le... Dunno when's the REMT practical...

Went shopping with Xiao Jie at Marina Square yesterday... Haha... Brought a top for myself and a black long sleeve shirt for Hong Xi... Very nice wor... Hope he like it...

I HATE AIMRAN... He going gym today... Nv ask me along.... Always say, next time next time... He owe me the class birthdates also... From last term till now... The gym thing even worst... From starting of the semester till now.... AIMRAN, I HATE YOU!!!!!!

Music theory lesson now... Blog again...

I had a heart to heart chat with Hong Xi last night. He finally confessed on something that he kept away from me at first. I kindda know it's there but I was waiting for him to tell me. Haha. I am really happy that he finally opened up to me. Haha. But he said that he would have feel better if I kicked up a fuss of it. Haha. Stupid. I didn't mind, I really didn't, just as long as he spoke the truth.

Haven spoke to Hong Xi for a few days le. Although I dun wanna admit, I kindda miss him. Msg him just now, but he nv reply. Msg twice le.. Maybe he very busy bah.

Anyway, Stupid Rex made me wait till very late to get all the IDEA ppt slides our group previously did. But what he actually did was to send me all versions of our last presentation!!! What the hell!!!

Finally done with Character Development. Haha. Completed our last presentation as well as last lesson today. So from now on, wed lessons will only be up till 1pm!!! Yeah man!!! So happy! Then can go swimming after that.

Both of my tuition cancelled today. So I came home and slept all the way till around 7pm for dinner. Haha. So happy and fulfilled after a sleep. And I still wanna sleep early tonight. Haha.

Gotto really start doing business proposal le.. No more time..

I Turn To You *[Christina Aguilera]*

When I'm lost, in the rain
In your eyes I know I'll find the light, to light my way
When I'm scared, losing ground
When my world is going crazy, you can turn it all around

And when I'm down you're there pushing me to the top
You're always there giving me all you've got

Fora shield from the storm
For a friend, for a love
To keep me safe and warm
I turn to you
For the strength to be strong
For the will to carry on
For everything you do
For everything that's true
I turn to you(oooo yeah)

When I lose the will to win
I just reach to you and I can reach the sky again
I can do anything
'Cause your love is so amazing
'Cause your love inspires me

And when I need a friend, you're always on my side
Giving me faith taking me through the night

For a shield (For a shield) from the storm (from the storm)
For a friend; for a love (for a love to keep me safe and warm)
To keep me safe and warm
I turn to you (I turn to you)
For the strength (for the strength) to be strong
For the will to carry on
For everything you do
I turn to you (ooo yeah oohhh)

For the arms to be my shelter through all the rain
For truth that will never change
For someone to lean on
For a heart I can rely on through anything
For that one who I can run to (oooooo) (I turn to you oooooo yeah)

For a shield from the storm
For a friend; for a love (to keep me safe a warm yeah yeah, I turn to you)
To keep me safe and warm
I turn to you (I turn to you)
For the strength (for the strength) to be strong
For the will to carry on
For everything you do (everything you do)
For everything that's true

For everything you do
For everything that's true
I turn to you

Haha... So fast tml thursday le... Argh!!! No time!!! I need time! Suddenly like a lot of work to complete sia... Math test, REMT test coming up also... Not to forget keyboard training...

Today Audrey, Lester and Amanda came to my house... It was fun... Haha... I love them! I learnt a notes of the guitar from Lester today (but I forgot again le)... Haha... So sad right? We watched a DVD, but it was kindda boring... Then played with my keyboard and computer... Drank bubble tea and ate butter cookies... Haha...

Saw my god-mother today, she ask me to go on diet and go exercise... So sad sia... She saw I start to grow too fat liao... My face becoming round... Wahaha... I am becoming a pig soon...

After they went back, I had dinner and went to give Rachael tuition... She pissed me off at first with her "IDIOTNESS" but after my mood changed for the better after Hong Xi msg me and after "Asakurachrno" agreed to teach me guitar tml... Wahaha... So happie!!!

*PS: Asakurachrno sounds girly... Haha.. =P

I am going to bed now... Night!!!

Your Five Factor Personality Profile

Extroversion: You have high extroversion. You are outgoing and engaging, with both strangers and friends. You truly enjoy being with people and bring energy into any situation. Enthusiastic and fun, you're the first to say "let's go!" Conscientiousness: You have high conscientiousness. Intelligent and reliable, you tend to succeed in life. Most things in your life are organized and planned well. But you borderline on being a total perfectionist. Agreeableness: You have high agreeableness. You are easy to get along with, and you value harmony highly. Helpful and generous, you are willing to compromise with almost anyone. You give people the benefit of the doubt and don't mind giving someone a second chance. Neuroticism: You have low neuroticism. You are very emotionally stable and mentally together. Only the greatest setbacks upset you, and you bounce back quickly. Overall, you are typically calm and relaxed - making others feel secure. Openness to experience: Your openness to new experiences is high. In life, you tend to be an early adopter of all new things and ideas. You'll try almost anything interesting, and you're constantly pushing your own limits. A great connoisseir of art and beauty, you can find the positive side of almost anything.

The Five Factor Personality Test

Ysterday while smsing Min Ru, she asked me why I so long never blog le... So here it is... Hahax...

Last Sat was Singapore Heart Foundation's flag day, so Grace (my cousin), Hong Xi and me went to help... Hahax... It was so fun... We were supposed to look after the booth and help give out and collect the cans, so when there was nothing to do, we talk rubbish... Thank goodness it was very windy that day, I really hate to sweat...
At around 3 plus, Grace and me went to buy lunch while Hong Xi stayed on at the booth... Then after that, we had lunch together... Grace and me have a habit of talking about shitting when both of us are eating together... So Hong Xi had a hard time eating... Hahax... Sorry darling!

Oh, and last Sat was our one week together... And I was so shocked when he gave me a present... Guess what he gave me? A necklace... Wahaha... So shocking!

Then I had zi chu ban yesterday... So my butt was stucked on a chair for nearly 10 hours... Now having backache ( I old le )... Haha... =P

I miss Min Ru suddenly... Haven really hang out with her much last week although we have all the time in school... Very sad isn't it? Hope this week there's more time for us! =)

Thought of the week:
SOPHIA LOREN:
Getting ahead in a difficult profession requires avid faith in yourself. That is why some people with mediocre talent, but with great inner drive, go much further than people with vastly superior talent.

Hahax... I miss my secondary school. Every morning there will be though of the week... =)

I read a quote somewhere today "Loving someone is giving them the ability to destroy you but trusting them enough not to."

It's so true isn't it? What's love without trust?

Let me tell you a story (I suddenly feel like telling one).

Boy A and girl B just started a relationship together during the school holidays. Everything was going on fine and they were happy to hang out together. They talked over the phone every night and go to sleep feeling blessed to have each other.

Sch term starts and both of them go back to sch. They belong to different sch and thus have different groups of friends. Girl B was a very sociable person and thus have many friends especially from the opposite sex. Boy A was however more of a loner and except for his classmates, he has no other girl-friends (or at least that was what he told girl B).

So, after a week of sch, they atarted to quarrel. The quarrels always started with boy A blaming girl B for flirting around with guys, which wasn't true. And it will always have the sentence "I love you so much and yet you are doing this behind my back."

As for the rest of the story, i think you guys can sort it out yourself. Is this love? I don't think so. It's just possesiveness. I think a lot of you out there have heard this story or even went through it? Love can never exist without trust, neither can any relationships.

So i never believed anyone who told me that they love someone so much so that they caged them up away from everyone else. Everyone, regardless of whether they are in love or not needs private space.

Wanna guess my ideal house? There will be at least five rooms. One for me and my partner, one for my privacy space, another for my partner, one of my kids (if I have any) and the last one will be a atudy room. Nice rite? Haha...

FREEDOM. That's what I need to be happy! =)

P.S. Hong Xi, you are doing a great job in letting me have my own freedom! Guess you know what I need because you've been my best friend for so long before this. Thanks... Love you lots!

Hong Xi asked me to be with him on Saturday after my Lang Song practice... Hahax... I am the first gal he had to ask this kindda questions face to face... Hahax... So funny... Anyway, i agreed... So i am out of singlehood again after so long...

Tml performance liaox... Hope it will work out fine... =)... So sad Hong Xi can't make it to watch cos got mo fan ban...

Nikki sent me a msg thru friendster... She's getting really beautiful sia... I so fat... Sobsob... Hahax... Jia Hao also msg me today to ask me out his week after he book out... Hahax... He still owe me a facial!!! =P

I have been reading THE ZAHIR by PAULO COELHO these few days, And they are a few parts of the book that it really worth thinking about. I am going to write two parts today, one of which kind of changed me a little.

"When I had nothing to lose, I was given everything. When I ceased to be who I am, I found myself. When I experienced humiliation and yet kept on walking, I understood that I was free to choose my destiny."

"That is why it is so important to let certain things go. To release them. To cut loose. People need to understand that no one is playing with marked cards; sometimes we win and sometimes we lose. Don't expect to get anything back, don't expect recognition for your efforts, don't expect your genius to be discovered or your love to be understood. Complete the circle. Not out of pride, inability, or arrogance, but simply because whatever it is no longer fits into your life. Close the door, change the record, clean the house, get rid of the dust. Stop being who you were and become who you are."

This is great isn't it? "Stop being who you were and become who you are." A lot of us are stuck with our past. That's why we are never happy. Everything we do, we let our past affect us. We do not have the courage to try new things, we do not dare to love for fear of getting hurt again.