I'm posting again cos I saw something that I really have to let out...

Went surfing on my cousins friendster and of course some friends too. And I went on to look at one of my cousin's blog...

I haven't heard from her for extremely long, although I did hear about her from others. I just knew that her family is going to keep away, they hate my uncle (their dad), the sisters went to Korea to have their eyelids made double (and they are back already)... Then I saw things like her clubbing her life away from the look of her friendster as well as blog... Today, I realised that her mum thought her how to smoke...

OMG...

I dunno what to say, how to say and how to feel... I am shocked, angry, depressed, sad, and everything else... All at the same time... I still find it hard to breathe now...

What's happening? Really, can someone just tell me what's happening?

I feel sad that I wasn't there for her, or actually, can't be with her all these while. Could I have done something to help and perhaps it wouldn't be so bad? I feel depressed that other than waiting for her reply and waiting for her to tell me something, I can't do anything else...

I sort of understand how she feels cos we both have depressed members in our family, though hers is much much worst... I wanna help... But I don't know how...