I came across an article from straits times online regarding singapore birth rates and I find that what the professor said about the situation in singapore totally true. The article is titled, "Fathers, please step up".
'A fertility rate of 1.23 children per woman indicates that life is not that optimal for young women in Singapore. You can gather from that that Singapore women have to make a choice, either to have children or to have an active professional career,' he says.
http://www.straitstimes.com/BreakingNews/Singapore/Story/STIStory_525556.html
Will this situation change for the better with the newer generation? Or will the boys now follow in the footsteps of their fathers? I wonder...
Sunday, May 16, 2010
Thursday, May 13, 2010
Love... indescribable...
Love can be so many things at the same time. It has existed since humanity begins or maybe perhaps longer than that. It can be so confusing and yet so simple, so big and yet so small. I wonder if I can ever grasp the whole meaning of it by the end of my life journey.
I watched a show that inspired me to do more for someone you love. Sometimes, love, is about letting something grow, even when you want to help it. Just like a butterfly. You need to let it squeeze out of the small hole by itself in order for it to fly later on.
Sometimes, beauty/dreams/achievements take a lot of effort/pain/struggles to make it come true. But it is worth it in the end. And love, is to watch your loved one go through the whole journey, without trying to stop their growth.
Saturday, April 24, 2010
Super Irritating Day
Why is everyone like against me today? Argh?!?!?!
Reminding myself: "Don't get vulgar!"
I am so pissed that my hands are shaking... Peace people... Peace!!!
Reminding myself: "Don't get vulgar!"
I am so pissed that my hands are shaking... Peace people... Peace!!!
Friday, April 02, 2010
Great April!
I started my month of April great, with my baby coming out from camp. I have many plans to fulfil. I need to sit down soon to plan it well so that I will follow through.
I want to learn driving, get myself started on saxophone lessons, make myself go for a swim at least once a week and eat right (as much as possible).
Thursday, March 18, 2010
Freedom?
I quited my job so as to have some time for myself before university starts. I kindda enjoy the quiet moments at home by myself. Perhaps I have been used to being with myself since young. So I kindda like it even till now.
The joy of sitting on the bed with a nice book, with nice music playing is a heaven on Earth. But I find that as time goes by, we grow up and suddenly, we don't seem to have the freedom to do that anymore. We're either tied up with school work/job/house chores, etc.
There are some things that can wait. There are some things that can be arranged to be done together. I am someone who has to plan to do something. Why is it that I have to follow the life of another? Why am I made to do the same as others?
I like quiet time before I go to sleep. I like to prepare my brain and body for sleep by doing something that doesn't need the a high usage of brains or physical strength. I don't like to do work or house chores before I sleep. Why can't I live that way?
Who made a rule saying that we have to work our whole life other than sleeping? What's the joy in doing so if you can't even enjoy some parts of your life? There's always a time to do certain things and for me, resting comes first before household chores.
The fake idea that our elders gave us were all wrong. They told us that we'll have more freedom when we grow up, they told us that we can make our own choices when we're older. But the actual fact in life is that you have to make others happy. You have to do what others expect you to do. You have to live up to others expectations. You have your role to fulfill. And what freedom do you have?
Yes, you have the freedom of choice. But you HAVE to make the choice that makes others happy... Even when it's at the sacrifice of yours. So that's what being an adult is. Because you are older, you have to think about others and what they feel. Because you are older, you have to lead a good example.
What is good? what is bad? Everyone's definition is different and you have to live up to the highest level in order to make others happy.
I'm tired... I am tired of leaving life the way others want. I want to do things MY WAY... Without caring about how others feel. I am tired of having to follow what others want and somehow make it my choice. Do others bother that you made the choice because of them? I bet they don't. They will just say, "You are not there yet. You have much more to learn/do." No appreciation given. And when you choose you way, they'll blame you for it. When will it ever end?
The people who chooses to do things their way from the start gets their way in the end. They NEVER EVER have to do anything. They NEVER EVER get scolded for not taking the initiative to do anything. They get praised for every single little thing that they do, even if it's their own things. They are forgiven for not helping.
What is the world coming to? Why is it that the people who do more are expected to do even more? Because they deserve it for doing what others want and they want to make others happy?
Perhaps it's true that the bad kids always get more attention. They always get more love cos others think that they are behaving that way for a reason unknown. People like unknowns.... Sadistic people living in a creepy world.
I want to do my things MY WAY... But do I have the chance to?
The joy of sitting on the bed with a nice book, with nice music playing is a heaven on Earth. But I find that as time goes by, we grow up and suddenly, we don't seem to have the freedom to do that anymore. We're either tied up with school work/job/house chores, etc.
There are some things that can wait. There are some things that can be arranged to be done together. I am someone who has to plan to do something. Why is it that I have to follow the life of another? Why am I made to do the same as others?
I like quiet time before I go to sleep. I like to prepare my brain and body for sleep by doing something that doesn't need the a high usage of brains or physical strength. I don't like to do work or house chores before I sleep. Why can't I live that way?
Who made a rule saying that we have to work our whole life other than sleeping? What's the joy in doing so if you can't even enjoy some parts of your life? There's always a time to do certain things and for me, resting comes first before household chores.
The fake idea that our elders gave us were all wrong. They told us that we'll have more freedom when we grow up, they told us that we can make our own choices when we're older. But the actual fact in life is that you have to make others happy. You have to do what others expect you to do. You have to live up to others expectations. You have your role to fulfill. And what freedom do you have?
Yes, you have the freedom of choice. But you HAVE to make the choice that makes others happy... Even when it's at the sacrifice of yours. So that's what being an adult is. Because you are older, you have to think about others and what they feel. Because you are older, you have to lead a good example.
What is good? what is bad? Everyone's definition is different and you have to live up to the highest level in order to make others happy.
I'm tired... I am tired of leaving life the way others want. I want to do things MY WAY... Without caring about how others feel. I am tired of having to follow what others want and somehow make it my choice. Do others bother that you made the choice because of them? I bet they don't. They will just say, "You are not there yet. You have much more to learn/do." No appreciation given. And when you choose you way, they'll blame you for it. When will it ever end?
The people who chooses to do things their way from the start gets their way in the end. They NEVER EVER have to do anything. They NEVER EVER get scolded for not taking the initiative to do anything. They get praised for every single little thing that they do, even if it's their own things. They are forgiven for not helping.
What is the world coming to? Why is it that the people who do more are expected to do even more? Because they deserve it for doing what others want and they want to make others happy?
Perhaps it's true that the bad kids always get more attention. They always get more love cos others think that they are behaving that way for a reason unknown. People like unknowns.... Sadistic people living in a creepy world.
I want to do my things MY WAY... But do I have the chance to?
Thursday, March 11, 2010
Restless
Been out of the sales coordinator job since last Friday so that I can focus on what I need/want to do before uni as well as consolidate my uni forms. Never knew that it could be so tiring to do all these. I remember poly being so much easier. There's like so much things to do and I just can't sit down and get it done. Just the thought of it makes me tired. I wanna see my baby!
Can't wait till tml.
Can't wait till tml.
Monday, January 25, 2010
Putting yourself in others shoes
Putting ourselves into others shoes... How many of us can truly say that we have done that? Everyone have imperfections, but they have their good points too... I feel that as people age, they tend to be more and more negative... Is it due to the fact that they feel that life is short? Or do they have regrets in life? Or is it that the more they see, the less hopes they have regarding life.
I believe that a good leader remain firmly in his hopes and believes. He will not let negativity set in to sway him from the path that he believes in. But of many of us can really say that we are good leaders? Will we remain positive till the day we die? I hope I do... I hope that I can gain more wisdom and smile at everything that passes me, whether "good" or "bad". I want to be an old woman with wisdom and not one that only grudges.
I really hope...
I believe that a good leader remain firmly in his hopes and believes. He will not let negativity set in to sway him from the path that he believes in. But of many of us can really say that we are good leaders? Will we remain positive till the day we die? I hope I do... I hope that I can gain more wisdom and smile at everything that passes me, whether "good" or "bad". I want to be an old woman with wisdom and not one that only grudges.
I really hope...
Thursday, January 14, 2010
The Painful Fact of Life
Do you have times when you feel that your close ones are like your greatest threat on earth? That maybe they are the one that can hurt you most and make you stumble along your path (perhaps towards sucess - you don't really know if it's success because you never ever get to even walk till the end).
Sometimes I feel lost and disappointed. People closest to you are what we always think of as your best supporters. But somehow or rather, they can become your worst stumbling stone. They can make you fall the hardest... And that's because you gave them the full trust that they will not make you fall and even help you through you hardest times.
I am going through a big change in my life. And the saddest thing is that everyone think I can, other than my close one. Everyone puts faith in me, but my own family member thinks I'm shit. There is no point in proving to others how good you are. I never like doing that. The main reason - I see no point.
I am who I am. I think what I want to think. I make my own choices. And I need no one to judge me because no one person is good enough to judge another. And this is what I constantly remind myself too. No one's too successful, no one is a failure too. Unless that person makes himself one.
My heart and mind feels as heavy as a stone now. She, who always says how much she understands me completely loses me and my thoughts. Now I wonder, how much does she understand me? If she does, she wouldn't be saying all these pessimistic things now. And instead me there to help me make things happen.
Everyone's tired from the work as well as studies that they have to do everyday. Who's not tired at all. Everyone just have to bring in their hearts together to make things work. Nothing is achieved alone. There's always a team to do it. And why bother who does more and who does less? The point is to get it done and over with. Is this even so hard to do?
It's not how good you are, but whether you want to make time and put your heart into it.
Sometimes I feel lost and disappointed. People closest to you are what we always think of as your best supporters. But somehow or rather, they can become your worst stumbling stone. They can make you fall the hardest... And that's because you gave them the full trust that they will not make you fall and even help you through you hardest times.
I am going through a big change in my life. And the saddest thing is that everyone think I can, other than my close one. Everyone puts faith in me, but my own family member thinks I'm shit. There is no point in proving to others how good you are. I never like doing that. The main reason - I see no point.
I am who I am. I think what I want to think. I make my own choices. And I need no one to judge me because no one person is good enough to judge another. And this is what I constantly remind myself too. No one's too successful, no one is a failure too. Unless that person makes himself one.
My heart and mind feels as heavy as a stone now. She, who always says how much she understands me completely loses me and my thoughts. Now I wonder, how much does she understand me? If she does, she wouldn't be saying all these pessimistic things now. And instead me there to help me make things happen.
Everyone's tired from the work as well as studies that they have to do everyday. Who's not tired at all. Everyone just have to bring in their hearts together to make things work. Nothing is achieved alone. There's always a team to do it. And why bother who does more and who does less? The point is to get it done and over with. Is this even so hard to do?
It's not how good you are, but whether you want to make time and put your heart into it.
Sunday, January 10, 2010
Random
I just realised how long I've not blogged... Haha... Maybe all my friends have taken me out of the "to read" list... LOL...
Anyway, life's busy as usual. I think I have not even logged onto msn for like months... Haha... I miss my friends, also the usual. I was so happy that I was able to have Ginny, Siew Ting and Pei Ling come over on New Year's eve for the countdown. Hopefully, they've enjoyed themselves enough to come over again next year.
Baby's birthday coming soon. Gonna get busier... I still haven't thought of what I should get for him. He has so little things that he wants... Haha... Human is just so confused... When others have too much requirements, we get frustrated... And when others don't have any requirements, we can't make up our mind... LOL... Or maybe it's just me... I am simply demanding... Haha!
I feel so fortunate for everything around me. I've got supportive family, a super good bf, easy-to-get-along colleagues, a challenging youth group and a still considered healthy body... Thank god... Truely...
Anyway, life's busy as usual. I think I have not even logged onto msn for like months... Haha... I miss my friends, also the usual. I was so happy that I was able to have Ginny, Siew Ting and Pei Ling come over on New Year's eve for the countdown. Hopefully, they've enjoyed themselves enough to come over again next year.
Baby's birthday coming soon. Gonna get busier... I still haven't thought of what I should get for him. He has so little things that he wants... Haha... Human is just so confused... When others have too much requirements, we get frustrated... And when others don't have any requirements, we can't make up our mind... LOL... Or maybe it's just me... I am simply demanding... Haha!
I feel so fortunate for everything around me. I've got supportive family, a super good bf, easy-to-get-along colleagues, a challenging youth group and a still considered healthy body... Thank god... Truely...
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
What the hell is wrong with the running of some organisations? Politics is so damn clear in there. It's f***ing screwed up! Damn... At times like this, I wonder what the hell is up in the minds of the people up there. So much about what they keep preaching... It's time they look back at what they stand for and what is happening right now...
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
Ok... I have been asked to update my blog... And so I shall because I don't have a mind of my own right now...
Life's been great at work. Wonderful colleaugues and work environment with a small gym area. I am the youngest in the lot and I get pampered by them all... With someone to buy me tea everyday, something I enjoy so much... But nothing's special going on... I need somthing to ignite my life... Something interesting :)
Sly's going into army next month... I can't bear to let him go... Not my baby... May the 2 yrs be a quick one... And I shall find many things to do during this time...
Life's been great at work. Wonderful colleaugues and work environment with a small gym area. I am the youngest in the lot and I get pampered by them all... With someone to buy me tea everyday, something I enjoy so much... But nothing's special going on... I need somthing to ignite my life... Something interesting :)
Sly's going into army next month... I can't bear to let him go... Not my baby... May the 2 yrs be a quick one... And I shall find many things to do during this time...
Saturday, July 25, 2009
Life's been a struggle for some of my friends and it pains me to see that happen. I know how it feels like to struggle to break through your burdens everyday. To wake up and tell yourself that you need to walk on despite it all... I know... And I'll be here for you. Juest stretch out your arms to me, I can't help if you dont'...
Monday, June 29, 2009
For anyone of you wondering where I've disappeared to again, I have not died. I am back to work for 2 weeks already! Haha... Guess I really can't bear to stay homw for too long. It kindda makes me feel useless :P
Anyway, I work till 5.30pm everyday, so I can meet up with you guys! Chloe & Audrey, ask me out pls... :P... I wanna go to a concert soon. I haven't been to one for so long that I miss catching one!
Milli, Zaki, I still haven't met you guys. Please find an evening for me pls? Haha... Kindda miss school mates and hanging out mates. Ginny, you are one of them too! And Siew Ting, where's my long awaited GeLare? :(
Haha... Anyway, hope life's great for all of you who cares about me! :)
Anyway, I work till 5.30pm everyday, so I can meet up with you guys! Chloe & Audrey, ask me out pls... :P... I wanna go to a concert soon. I haven't been to one for so long that I miss catching one!
Milli, Zaki, I still haven't met you guys. Please find an evening for me pls? Haha... Kindda miss school mates and hanging out mates. Ginny, you are one of them too! And Siew Ting, where's my long awaited GeLare? :(
Haha... Anyway, hope life's great for all of you who cares about me! :)
Friday, May 29, 2009
I went to do relief teaching at a student care today. Some of the students are so cute, handsome or pretty... It makes me wonder if I really don't want any kids in the future... Perhaps I do. And perhaps I wouldn't even mind staying at home to take care of them and home school them... LOL...
A lot of my perspective in life has changed and is changing. I think it's all part of growing. I remember my dream when I was young. It's to find a prince and marry him, and also be a psychologist. Haha... So much have changed since then... Oh, how I miss the days when there were no worries. Haha... Dream on... :)
Thursday, May 28, 2009
I am quite irritated with myself. Slacking is one thing, slacking without aims in life is another. I know I always push myself too hard, but I don't know how not to. I am so irritated that I can't find the concrete aims in my life right now. I hope I find it soon before I drive myself nuts.
Had a sleepless night yesterday even though I was quite tired. Something is bothering me but I have no idea what. I need to get out and going soon. Staying at home ain't doing me good.
I find life without any aims useless and not worth living. I will not submit myself to that. NEVER.
I should get myself another good book to read now... And a nice cup of coffee perhaps. I have been thinking about the cute kitten all morning. It's amazing that I kindda miss it. LOL...
Had a sleepless night yesterday even though I was quite tired. Something is bothering me but I have no idea what. I need to get out and going soon. Staying at home ain't doing me good.
I find life without any aims useless and not worth living. I will not submit myself to that. NEVER.
I should get myself another good book to read now... And a nice cup of coffee perhaps. I have been thinking about the cute kitten all morning. It's amazing that I kindda miss it. LOL...
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Here I am sitting at Starbucks with a long time friend. Haha. I finally started gaining back my balance in life. If there's one thing that I've learnt during these few months, it would be that family and friends are seriously important.
Talking to friends about crap, sitting down and just chilling out, doing nothing important at all. I miss all that man...
Yesterday's graduation was great. It's calming to see all my classmates and lecturers again. Jimmy really came back to see us! He's looking great. SMU must be so much better. I hope we can find time to meet up again before the guys go into army.
I want to get back in touch with music again. Chloe, all the best for 29th! Please spur me on in my aim to get back in touch :P. I hope to meet you soon!
Talking to friends about crap, sitting down and just chilling out, doing nothing important at all. I miss all that man...
Yesterday's graduation was great. It's calming to see all my classmates and lecturers again. Jimmy really came back to see us! He's looking great. SMU must be so much better. I hope we can find time to meet up again before the guys go into army.
I want to get back in touch with music again. Chloe, all the best for 29th! Please spur me on in my aim to get back in touch :P. I hope to meet you soon!
Friday, May 22, 2009
Went back to office to clear up everything today. Finally a load off my mind.
David' birthday chalet's tml till mon. My grad's on mon, Sly's thurs. Got to find time to excercise to create positive cells :P
Can't wait to see all my classmates again. Heard that Jimmy's coming on our Grad too. So happy!!! Haha. He's really nice to us. Actually, all our lecturers are nice to us :P... We're quite a fortunate bunch.
Gelare... I haven't had it for months. Siew Ting, when are you bringing me out for it?
I suddenly want to have a shopping spree. I want to buy all the books that attract me. I want to buy tibits and stock them up in my room (I have done a little of this already). I want clothes, shoes, hats, sunglasses, perfumes, makeup, bags and toys... LOL... I am starting to sound materialistic.
Anyways, I am finding my life. May I find it soon...
David' birthday chalet's tml till mon. My grad's on mon, Sly's thurs. Got to find time to excercise to create positive cells :P
Can't wait to see all my classmates again. Heard that Jimmy's coming on our Grad too. So happy!!! Haha. He's really nice to us. Actually, all our lecturers are nice to us :P... We're quite a fortunate bunch.
Gelare... I haven't had it for months. Siew Ting, when are you bringing me out for it?
I suddenly want to have a shopping spree. I want to buy all the books that attract me. I want to buy tibits and stock them up in my room (I have done a little of this already). I want clothes, shoes, hats, sunglasses, perfumes, makeup, bags and toys... LOL... I am starting to sound materialistic.
Anyways, I am finding my life. May I find it soon...
Thursday, May 21, 2009
Life
Sorry for disappearing guys! I guessed I was too caught up in work again. Well, I guess that you guys are used to it :P
Haha. Anyways, this few months made me understand something every important in life. It also made me understand the things that are important to me in life. I have always thought that a career/job is very important to me and that I want to do very very well in it. But I guess that I was always wrong.
I CANNOT give up my life, my family and my friends for success in a career. I CANNOT let someone step over me and crash me just for the hope to learn more. I CANNOT endure being scolded for something that ain't my fault. I rather be happy then "successful" in others eyes. To me, having a happy life is SUCCESS.
Anyways, you might be thinking that "Vera's crapping again". LOL... I don't blame you. This is just my thought in life, you may/may not have yours (yet).
Also, please contact me and ask me out my friends! Haha. I am gonna take a break for a while. Which means "NO WORK"!!! Haha! Starting from next week. And for DMATters, see you guys on tue!
Haha. Anyways, this few months made me understand something every important in life. It also made me understand the things that are important to me in life. I have always thought that a career/job is very important to me and that I want to do very very well in it. But I guess that I was always wrong.
I CANNOT give up my life, my family and my friends for success in a career. I CANNOT let someone step over me and crash me just for the hope to learn more. I CANNOT endure being scolded for something that ain't my fault. I rather be happy then "successful" in others eyes. To me, having a happy life is SUCCESS.
Anyways, you might be thinking that "Vera's crapping again". LOL... I don't blame you. This is just my thought in life, you may/may not have yours (yet).
Also, please contact me and ask me out my friends! Haha. I am gonna take a break for a while. Which means "NO WORK"!!! Haha! Starting from next week. And for DMATters, see you guys on tue!
Wednesday, February 04, 2009
I was sitting on my bed in the afternoon today when my mum came back home. She asked me, "What's wrong with you? Why are you looking emo?".
Haha... Perhaps I really was...
I think that I am still perhaps a perfectionist inside of me. I want my life to be beautiful, not even a shade of grey. No, I can't accept that. Perhaps that's what making me so sad and emo... That my life wasn't the way I wanted it to be...
I want a beautiful life. Will I achieve it in the end? Or do I get a beautiful lie?
Thursday, January 29, 2009
Happy Lunar New Year to all who reads my blog! Especially friends and classmates!
Chinese New Year holiday is over in no time at all... Two more weeks to go in sch... Got to chiong all the way!
I am determined to make it! And I must! Haha... I see a bit of light in my life today... I might have a future afterall... Haha...
CNY was fun although short. Been around a few of my relatives home and I had the company of my treasured one for the whole of ystd... I think he brought me loads of luck. Won a little ystd on blackjack... Haha... I miss playing it with my family so much tt I went down to it straight away when they started.
I still haven't got to learn how to play majong... Haha... when are you going to teach me baby?
Chinese New Year holiday is over in no time at all... Two more weeks to go in sch... Got to chiong all the way!
I am determined to make it! And I must! Haha... I see a bit of light in my life today... I might have a future afterall... Haha...
CNY was fun although short. Been around a few of my relatives home and I had the company of my treasured one for the whole of ystd... I think he brought me loads of luck. Won a little ystd on blackjack... Haha... I miss playing it with my family so much tt I went down to it straight away when they started.
I still haven't got to learn how to play majong... Haha... when are you going to teach me baby?
Thursday, January 15, 2009
Super pissed off by someone. You think teaching is so damn easy? Why don't you try it for yourself. Especially your student don't even trust you in what you teach. Come on, if you think that I can't teach you well, find another one!
I made loads of students improve tremendously ok. I teach with everything I've got. I dun need to tolerate your disgusting attitude. I've done my part and I can swear that I gave my best. If you look down on me, get another one! I dun see why I must and have to teach you.
Think the money is earned so easily? Think again! You haven't even worked for your whole life before! If money is earned so easily, there wouldn't be any poor people on earth! Everyone will be rich! Think tuition earns you a lot? Try it. Yes, I dare you to.
I made loads of students improve tremendously ok. I teach with everything I've got. I dun need to tolerate your disgusting attitude. I've done my part and I can swear that I gave my best. If you look down on me, get another one! I dun see why I must and have to teach you.
Think the money is earned so easily? Think again! You haven't even worked for your whole life before! If money is earned so easily, there wouldn't be any poor people on earth! Everyone will be rich! Think tuition earns you a lot? Try it. Yes, I dare you to.
Thursday, January 08, 2009
Maria Mena - Just Hold Me
Comfortable as I am
I need your reassurance
And comfortable as you are
You count the days
But if I wanted silence
I would whisper
And if I wanted loneliness
I'd choose to go
And if i liked rejection
I'd audition
And if I didn't love you
You would know
And why can't you just hold me
And how come it is so hard
And do you like to see me broken
And why do I still care
still care
You say you see the light now
At the end of this narrow hall
I wish it didn't matter
I wish I didn't give you all
But if I wanted silence
I would whisper
And if I wanted loneliness
I'd choose to go
And if i liked rejection
I'd audition
And if I didn't love you
You would know
And why can't you just hold me
And how come it is so hard
And do you like to see me broken
And why do I still care
Poor little misunderstood baby
No one likes a sad face
But I can't remember life without him
I think I did have good days
I think I did have good days
And why(why) can't you just hold me
And how come it is so hard
And do you like to see me broken
And why do I still care
Love it song. The melody got stuck in me once I heard it...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=02_NLgATkv0&feature=related
Comfortable as I am
I need your reassurance
And comfortable as you are
You count the days
But if I wanted silence
I would whisper
And if I wanted loneliness
I'd choose to go
And if i liked rejection
I'd audition
And if I didn't love you
You would know
And why can't you just hold me
And how come it is so hard
And do you like to see me broken
And why do I still care
still care
You say you see the light now
At the end of this narrow hall
I wish it didn't matter
I wish I didn't give you all
But if I wanted silence
I would whisper
And if I wanted loneliness
I'd choose to go
And if i liked rejection
I'd audition
And if I didn't love you
You would know
And why can't you just hold me
And how come it is so hard
And do you like to see me broken
And why do I still care
Poor little misunderstood baby
No one likes a sad face
But I can't remember life without him
I think I did have good days
I think I did have good days
And why(why) can't you just hold me
And how come it is so hard
And do you like to see me broken
And why do I still care
Love it song. The melody got stuck in me once I heard it...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=02_NLgATkv0&feature=related
Wednesday, January 07, 2009
Rushed songwriting this morning. Couldn't write anything out last night. No inspiration at all... Everything that came out was bullshit...
But yeah, I managed to complete it this morning and rushed to sch to record it. I need to thank rain for the backing track as well as setting up studio D for me to record despite being so tired.
No more slacking now. Trying very hard to tell myself that. Argh...
But yeah, I managed to complete it this morning and rushed to sch to record it. I need to thank rain for the backing track as well as setting up studio D for me to record despite being so tired.
No more slacking now. Trying very hard to tell myself that. Argh...
Tuesday, January 06, 2009
It has been quite a wonderful day today up till 7pm.
I got a scare from Iskandar while he was telling us a ghost story. I was so scared that I couldn't control the tears from flowing out from my eyes lah... In the middle of FC6... So embarrassing!
Had fun with the girls cam-whoring with STing's mac. So fun! I like the pic of the scary me!
Coordinated with Lester today to get some MUMI class practice done. I love the result! The impact is so funny! Haha... It has been a good time experimenting.
Arranging was fun today too! We learnt about "funk" and I love it! I dun find funk boring at all... I so wanna play as well as Maceo Parker... My saxophone playing is LIFELESS... Just like me, LISTLESS...
I got a scare from Iskandar while he was telling us a ghost story. I was so scared that I couldn't control the tears from flowing out from my eyes lah... In the middle of FC6... So embarrassing!
Had fun with the girls cam-whoring with STing's mac. So fun! I like the pic of the scary me!
Coordinated with Lester today to get some MUMI class practice done. I love the result! The impact is so funny! Haha... It has been a good time experimenting.
Arranging was fun today too! We learnt about "funk" and I love it! I dun find funk boring at all... I so wanna play as well as Maceo Parker... My saxophone playing is LIFELESS... Just like me, LISTLESS...
Monday, January 05, 2009
Hurting, hurting and hurting. The pain from my gums is distracting me from work! And I can't even talk loudly :(
Songwriting is dued this thurs! ARGH!!! I need inspiration!
I wanna work out and hopefully it makes me feel happier and gets me fitter! I am gonna plan a regime and stick through it! Self discipline Vera!
I need to stop myself from spending so much money. I dunno if I am getting a retail therapy or what so ever, cos I spent so much in just these 2 months! OMG... I'm gonna go bankrupt if I continue to spend like this! Hopefully, it's dued to having to prepare for the new year (new clothes, etc.).
I miss my beloved...
Songwriting is dued this thurs! ARGH!!! I need inspiration!
I wanna work out and hopefully it makes me feel happier and gets me fitter! I am gonna plan a regime and stick through it! Self discipline Vera!
I need to stop myself from spending so much money. I dunno if I am getting a retail therapy or what so ever, cos I spent so much in just these 2 months! OMG... I'm gonna go bankrupt if I continue to spend like this! Hopefully, it's dued to having to prepare for the new year (new clothes, etc.).
I miss my beloved...
Saturday, January 03, 2009
KILL ME PLEASE!!!
No, don't try to screw me up. I want my kind of life, not yours. You've not planned the first 19 years of my life, don't try to do it now. I'm not used to it and I don't even like it.
I've planned every stage of my life up till now, what subjects to study, what school to go to. Don't try to tell me where I should go or what I should do now... I am not someone you can manipulate anymore after leaving me to make all my choices in life myself.
I am now stucked between you and my dreams. Each threatening to kill... But yeah, I'll always give in to you in the end. Which makes me so sad and depressed. Because I know that no matter how hard I try and give to achieve my dream, you will blow it...
You made it every clear that you would like me in a 5-day work week, 8 to 5pm job. But I hate those kindda jobs you know? It's so irritating and boring... I need an ever changing environment. I want fun and laughter in my work. I want a sense of achievement and joy from my work. I can't stay in an office. I can't get stuck to my desk. I absolutely HATE IT...
I've planned every stage of my life up till now, what subjects to study, what school to go to. Don't try to tell me where I should go or what I should do now... I am not someone you can manipulate anymore after leaving me to make all my choices in life myself.
I am now stucked between you and my dreams. Each threatening to kill... But yeah, I'll always give in to you in the end. Which makes me so sad and depressed. Because I know that no matter how hard I try and give to achieve my dream, you will blow it...
You made it every clear that you would like me in a 5-day work week, 8 to 5pm job. But I hate those kindda jobs you know? It's so irritating and boring... I need an ever changing environment. I want fun and laughter in my work. I want a sense of achievement and joy from my work. I can't stay in an office. I can't get stuck to my desk. I absolutely HATE IT...
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
My thanks for 2008.
It's coming to the end of 2008 and I have a few special people to thank for helping me pull through this year. Without them, I won't know where I'll be right now (probably pretty screwed up). It's very long, so you can choose not to read it.
Thank you Ginny, for supporting me through whatever I wanna do. You are a great listener despite all my rantings. Your support brought me through a lot of things.
Thank you Audrey, for always being my friend, no matter how I am.
Thank you Chloe, for passing me some of your happiness and cheerful spirit!
Thank you Evan, for being there, whether you are in good temper or not. :P
Thank you Felix, for dropping by my phone whenever I need someone to flare up at... And thank you for showing me the blatant and painful truth every time. Can't you let me live in my own world sometimes? Haha... You've been a great source of destress.
Thank you Pei Ling, for pulling through the camp with me, no matter what the end result will be.
Thank you Jimmy, for tolerating the shit that I've given you due to my project. Thank you for helping me so much.
Thank you Pei Zhen for being closer to me now. It's another burden off my shoulders and being closer to my sister means a lot to me! Blood is still thicker than water.
Of course, not forgetting general thanks to everyone else.
Thank you DMAT lecturers for helping me whenever you can. Your care and concerns for me can be deeply felt.
Thank you 'DMAT the 2nd' for all the fun times they have given me this year. Being in class can be very stress-relieving with all the jokes going around. I love all the self-proclaimed "tea breaks" too! :)... For those of you who helped me in my work, thank you too! I know who you are, but if I write it out, the list will be too long.. Haha...
Thank you to all my other relatives and friends who cared and stayed by me this year. I know I dun really show concern to you guys often. So, thank you for being my friend. =)
Lastly, thank you baby, for standing by me no matter how much I've changed or how cold I am to you sometimes. Your love and support means a lot to me. Thank you for taking care of me even when you aren't feeling good yourself. Thank you for putting me above everything else.
Thank you Ginny, for supporting me through whatever I wanna do. You are a great listener despite all my rantings. Your support brought me through a lot of things.
Thank you Audrey, for always being my friend, no matter how I am.
Thank you Chloe, for passing me some of your happiness and cheerful spirit!
Thank you Evan, for being there, whether you are in good temper or not. :P
Thank you Felix, for dropping by my phone whenever I need someone to flare up at... And thank you for showing me the blatant and painful truth every time. Can't you let me live in my own world sometimes? Haha... You've been a great source of destress.
Thank you Pei Ling, for pulling through the camp with me, no matter what the end result will be.
Thank you Jimmy, for tolerating the shit that I've given you due to my project. Thank you for helping me so much.
Thank you Pei Zhen for being closer to me now. It's another burden off my shoulders and being closer to my sister means a lot to me! Blood is still thicker than water.
Of course, not forgetting general thanks to everyone else.
Thank you DMAT lecturers for helping me whenever you can. Your care and concerns for me can be deeply felt.
Thank you 'DMAT the 2nd' for all the fun times they have given me this year. Being in class can be very stress-relieving with all the jokes going around. I love all the self-proclaimed "tea breaks" too! :)... For those of you who helped me in my work, thank you too! I know who you are, but if I write it out, the list will be too long.. Haha...
Thank you to all my other relatives and friends who cared and stayed by me this year. I know I dun really show concern to you guys often. So, thank you for being my friend. =)
Lastly, thank you baby, for standing by me no matter how much I've changed or how cold I am to you sometimes. Your love and support means a lot to me. Thank you for taking care of me even when you aren't feeling good yourself. Thank you for putting me above everything else.
Ok, as usual, time to stress and motivate myself. =(
Deadlines
2 Jan - Arranging (Close to you)
8 Jan - Songwriting (Changes)
14 Jan - MUMI (Mother's Day clip)
28 Jan - Arranging (large ensemble)
4 Feb - MUMI (collaboration with DDM)
6 Feb - REMT surround sound
11 Feb - POD final submission
Ok, I am feeling stressed now... *biting my nails*
Deadlines
2 Jan - Arranging (Close to you)
8 Jan - Songwriting (Changes)
14 Jan - MUMI (Mother's Day clip)
28 Jan - Arranging (large ensemble)
4 Feb - MUMI (collaboration with DDM)
6 Feb - REMT surround sound
11 Feb - POD final submission
Ok, I am feeling stressed now... *biting my nails*
Friday, December 26, 2008
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
Absolutely no mood in doing any work... My eyes hurt badly and I find it hard to keep it open... I wonder how I can bite through this all and survive in the end... But I know, somehow or rather, I will make it through... Just not with flying colours...
Everything's driving me mad other than friends - family, sch, relationships, work, etc.
I wanna break free...
Everything's driving me mad other than friends - family, sch, relationships, work, etc.
I wanna break free...
It scares me to know how much you check on me when I thought I had all the freedom in the world. It's too much of a coincidence for it to be true... It's not like it's the first few sms, it's way back...
It scares me, scares me so much that you are posessive in your own way... You sort of give me freedom, but controls in from behind... It's so scary that my I'm having goosebumps while writing this.
Your face shows no weird emotion even when you are investigating me... You can still smile at me when I ask you what's wrong... I can't tell at all... And this is freakingly scary... Like I've kept a time-bomb close beside me...
And yes, this is driving me mad... It's not anyone, but you... The one I held so dear...
It scares me, scares me so much that you are posessive in your own way... You sort of give me freedom, but controls in from behind... It's so scary that my I'm having goosebumps while writing this.
Your face shows no weird emotion even when you are investigating me... You can still smile at me when I ask you what's wrong... I can't tell at all... And this is freakingly scary... Like I've kept a time-bomb close beside me...
And yes, this is driving me mad... It's not anyone, but you... The one I held so dear...
Friday, December 19, 2008
Ah... I need a break! Year 3 life is emotionally stressful... LOL...
Everytime I just feel like I'm on the verge of breaking down any moment and then I don't... LOL... so tiring man... Thank goodness there are friends beside me to lean on when I'm tired and cheer me up with jokes when I'm not in a good mood.
Now that 2008 is coming to an end soon, I wanna thank all the people that made a difference in my life this year. Everyone who have given me every little support, even if it's in the form of an sms or a pat on the shoulder. Thank you :)
Everytime I just feel like I'm on the verge of breaking down any moment and then I don't... LOL... so tiring man... Thank goodness there are friends beside me to lean on when I'm tired and cheer me up with jokes when I'm not in a good mood.
Now that 2008 is coming to an end soon, I wanna thank all the people that made a difference in my life this year. Everyone who have given me every little support, even if it's in the form of an sms or a pat on the shoulder. Thank you :)
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Really dunno how to write to Jimmy about the camp. I just can't seem to phrase anything right... I feel so bad towards him. It's now no longer about results, but the fact that he trusted us to do this right --- And we screw it up instead. I feel that I've let him and other lecturers down...
I find writing the email such a painful process... The camp was like my baby. And now I'm killing it before it becomes a monster... It's like having an abortion after you realised that your baby won't be able to grow well... And i've allowed my baby to grow from May till now... Should have aborted it earlier... It's dangerous to abort after 3 months and that is precisely the situation that I am in.
No longer thinking of doing well. Just wanna pass and get out of here. I am giving myself more stress than I can handle...
Super emotional these days...
I find writing the email such a painful process... The camp was like my baby. And now I'm killing it before it becomes a monster... It's like having an abortion after you realised that your baby won't be able to grow well... And i've allowed my baby to grow from May till now... Should have aborted it earlier... It's dangerous to abort after 3 months and that is precisely the situation that I am in.
No longer thinking of doing well. Just wanna pass and get out of here. I am giving myself more stress than I can handle...
Super emotional these days...
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
Super super tired... Guess I am not the only one... So tired that I feel like vomiting every single day...
A few things are on hand now:
1. Music Camp - TV interview, finding people still
2. MUMI Assignment 3 and 4
3. ARR Assignment 3 and 4
4. POD Presentation on Mon
5. Resume
6. Interview
Can't remember the others... LOL... Too tired le...
Heard a bad news today... Damn sad... Putting all my sadness into doing work... So I'm super efficient now other than the fact that I keep feeling like vomiting... Damn...
A few things are on hand now:
1. Music Camp - TV interview, finding people still
2. MUMI Assignment 3 and 4
3. ARR Assignment 3 and 4
4. POD Presentation on Mon
5. Resume
6. Interview
Can't remember the others... LOL... Too tired le...
Heard a bad news today... Damn sad... Putting all my sadness into doing work... So I'm super efficient now other than the fact that I keep feeling like vomiting... Damn...
Friday, October 31, 2008
So tired... I seem to find everything (including simple stuff) to be taking a lot of effort these days. Maybe I old le... Haha... Year 3 in DMAT is really not easy... But I'll get pass it! I will! And I must! With flying colours.
I am just trying to encourage myself for a little. Haha... I bought Jay's Album today. It's quite good. Very Jay style and enjoyable.
I am just trying to encourage myself for a little. Haha... I bought Jay's Album today. It's quite good. Very Jay style and enjoyable.
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
Blogging to rem my info... haas... weird way, but hopefully it helps...
Chord Scales
Major Key:
Imaj7 IImin7 IIImin7 IVmaj7 V7 VImin7 VIImin7b5
Minor Key:
Imin7 IImin7b5 bIIImaj7 IVmin7 Vmin7 bVImaj7 bVII7
Chord Theory
Major 7th: 1 3 5 7
Minor 7th: 1 b3 5 b7
Dominant 7th: 1 3 5 b7
Augmented 7th: 1 3 #5 b7
Diminished 7th: 1 b3 b5 bb7
Half diminished 7th: 1 b3 b5 b7
Scale Theory
Minor (natural): 1 2 b3 4 5 b6 b7
Minor (harmonic): 1 2 b3 4 5 b6 7
Minor (melodic - up): 1 2 b3 4 5 6 7
Minor (melodic - down): b7 b6 5 4 b3 2 1
Woodwind instruments
Piccolo (8va)
Flute (x)
Oboe (x)
Cor anglais (P5 down)
Bassoon (x)
Bb Clarinet (M2 down)
A Clarinet (m3 down)
Eb Clarinet (m3 up)
Bass Clarinet (M9 down)
Contra Bassoon (x)
Horn
Bb Soprano Sax (M2 down)
Eb Alto Sax (M6 down)
Bb Tenor Sax (M9 down)
Eb Alto Saxophone (8vb + M6 down)
Brass
Bb Trumpet (M2 down)
Bb Cornet (M2 down)
French Horn (P5 down)
Bb Trombone (x)
Bb Bass Trombone (x)
Tuba (x)
Strings
Violin (x)
Viola (x)
Cello (x)
Doublebass (8vb)
Guitar (8vb)
Electric Bass (8vb)
Percussion
Timpani (x)
Snare Drum (x)
Bass Drum (x)
Cymbal (x)
Vibes (x)
Marimba (x)
Xylophone (8va)
Celesta (8va)
Piano (x)
Harp
Glokespiel (2 8va)
Chord Scales
Major Key:
Imaj7 IImin7 IIImin7 IVmaj7 V7 VImin7 VIImin7b5
Minor Key:
Imin7 IImin7b5 bIIImaj7 IVmin7 Vmin7 bVImaj7 bVII7
Chord Theory
Major 7th: 1 3 5 7
Minor 7th: 1 b3 5 b7
Dominant 7th: 1 3 5 b7
Augmented 7th: 1 3 #5 b7
Diminished 7th: 1 b3 b5 bb7
Half diminished 7th: 1 b3 b5 b7
Scale Theory
Minor (natural): 1 2 b3 4 5 b6 b7
Minor (harmonic): 1 2 b3 4 5 b6 7
Minor (melodic - up): 1 2 b3 4 5 6 7
Minor (melodic - down): b7 b6 5 4 b3 2 1
Woodwind instruments
Piccolo (8va)
Flute (x)
Oboe (x)
Cor anglais (P5 down)
Bassoon (x)
Bb Clarinet (M2 down)
A Clarinet (m3 down)
Eb Clarinet (m3 up)
Bass Clarinet (M9 down)
Contra Bassoon (x)
Horn
Bb Soprano Sax (M2 down)
Eb Alto Sax (M6 down)
Bb Tenor Sax (M9 down)
Eb Alto Saxophone (8vb + M6 down)
Brass
Bb Trumpet (M2 down)
Bb Cornet (M2 down)
French Horn (P5 down)
Bb Trombone (x)
Bb Bass Trombone (x)
Tuba (x)
Strings
Violin (x)
Viola (x)
Cello (x)
Doublebass (8vb)
Guitar (8vb)
Electric Bass (8vb)
Percussion
Timpani (x)
Snare Drum (x)
Bass Drum (x)
Cymbal (x)
Vibes (x)
Marimba (x)
Xylophone (8va)
Celesta (8va)
Piano (x)
Harp
Glokespiel (2 8va)
Friday, October 17, 2008
Went out slightly with Audrey ystd and it was great fun. Glad everything's cleared! I'm so happy!
Read a chinese love story novel ystd and the pain in my heart caused me to tear. Haas. I am so emotional.
Loads of things to complete within these few weeks. shan't list them down as I am already stressed enough. Don't need to help seeing them. Haas... Escaping!
Something funny happened today. Sly's "je" on facebook text me asking about him. LOL... I acted blur and ask her who she is... Such a funny person... Haas...
I wanna go for a few concerts and clinics. For now, 8 nov and 20 nov is booked for concerts! Yeah!!!
Read a chinese love story novel ystd and the pain in my heart caused me to tear. Haas. I am so emotional.
Loads of things to complete within these few weeks. shan't list them down as I am already stressed enough. Don't need to help seeing them. Haas... Escaping!
Something funny happened today. Sly's "je" on facebook text me asking about him. LOL... I acted blur and ask her who she is... Such a funny person... Haas...
I wanna go for a few concerts and clinics. For now, 8 nov and 20 nov is booked for concerts! Yeah!!!
Sunday, October 12, 2008
Just finished watching "Lust, Caution". Feeling loads of emotions at one go... Desperately emo... Don't like the ending at all. I never liked unhappy endings. Why must love be ever linked with caution? Why must someone love cautiously? I don't like it...
Love is a free emotion. Hurt not your love ones...
But we always do. Who am I to talk about these? Haas...
Anyways, school starts tml. Days and days of working non-stop shall be starting. Part of me looks forward to it. I wanna see how much I can grow and stretch myself. Another part loathes it. Haas... I am so complicated. Whatever...
Many things running through my mind. Past, future, now...
May I be guided along the right way...
Love is a free emotion. Hurt not your love ones...
But we always do. Who am I to talk about these? Haas...
Anyways, school starts tml. Days and days of working non-stop shall be starting. Part of me looks forward to it. I wanna see how much I can grow and stretch myself. Another part loathes it. Haas... I am so complicated. Whatever...
Many things running through my mind. Past, future, now...
May I be guided along the right way...
Thursday, October 09, 2008
Went back to school yesterday for electronic band practice. I kindda missed it quite a lot. Wanted to keep playing the baritone sax... So nice... I got some bruises on my neck due to it though. Haas... But still... shoik!
Finding it very hard to get inspired and write lyrics now. No words and rhymes seem to want to come into my head now...
Gonna list down the things that I have to do today:
1. Gantt chart for POD camp
2. Look through camp stuffs in detail
3. Write lyrics (POD and songwriting)
Argh... Can something inspire me please? Or can anyone slap me to wake my brain up please!
Finding it very hard to get inspired and write lyrics now. No words and rhymes seem to want to come into my head now...
Gonna list down the things that I have to do today:
1. Gantt chart for POD camp
2. Look through camp stuffs in detail
3. Write lyrics (POD and songwriting)
Argh... Can something inspire me please? Or can anyone slap me to wake my brain up please!
Friday, October 03, 2008
Am still sick... Cant even go to school to do work. I am in deep shit. Nothing's done yet and they are all quite major.
POD isn't going well. Cant seem to get any schools or any participants at all. DIE... 16 credit units. ARGH. So stressed. It's the module that makes or breaks my final GPA.
Gotta give tuition on sat. Hope I can go. Dun wanna leave a bad impression on my first few lessons.
Vera's pulling her hair out at home but can't do anything about it due to being sick. DIMMIT!!!
POD isn't going well. Cant seem to get any schools or any participants at all. DIE... 16 credit units. ARGH. So stressed. It's the module that makes or breaks my final GPA.
Gotta give tuition on sat. Hope I can go. Dun wanna leave a bad impression on my first few lessons.
Vera's pulling her hair out at home but can't do anything about it due to being sick. DIMMIT!!!
Monday, September 29, 2008
Ok, I am here to complain, complain and complain... So if you can't take it, please don't read it. I've warned you! :)
Been sick the past few days, like seriously seriously sick. Coughing only during the night (my cough is nocturnal like me) and having to do crap in the morning. My family organised this "gong tek" thing for my dad, my grandparents, my great grandparents as well as some other dead relatives. So there was a lot of praying, folding of hell bank notes and of course burning of incense. And you know how much everything for 2 days cost? 20k. It's crazy man. I rather give that kindda money to poorer people. That might be more meaningful. I mean, they are dead, why not spend the money on living people who might die without the money?
Anyways, I went there for these 2 days with the preparation to be scolded and to face shit. Thankfully, I was prepared for the worst. So nothing that I faced there was worst than what I've guess. I treated every shit like a joke, so like you probably guessed, these 2 days were real funny. The first day started with me greeting a relative, and as I was sick, she couldn't hear me over the noise. So she looked at me and said, "Wah, now grow up already dunno how to greet people already is it?" LOL... My sis asked me to reply, "Wah, now you old already cannot hear already is it?". Of course I didn't say anything. But it's really funny.
My sis got scolded a lot on the second day, for no obvious reasons too. Haas. And the adult insisted that he's right. Damn, my mum was angry at him. Haas. Everything look like a joke to me still. Oh, and loads of people cried when they say my dad's pic. I didn't feel a thing, not even a pinch. I was wondering why they cried. I think I have come to terms that he's gone forever and nothing can bring him back. He's still me beloved father and the one I look upon and respect, but I need not cry cause it'll not bring him back anyway.
Well, I shan't write the other jokes cos it'll take half the day to talk about them. Ask me if you're interested. That's all :)
Been sick the past few days, like seriously seriously sick. Coughing only during the night (my cough is nocturnal like me) and having to do crap in the morning. My family organised this "gong tek" thing for my dad, my grandparents, my great grandparents as well as some other dead relatives. So there was a lot of praying, folding of hell bank notes and of course burning of incense. And you know how much everything for 2 days cost? 20k. It's crazy man. I rather give that kindda money to poorer people. That might be more meaningful. I mean, they are dead, why not spend the money on living people who might die without the money?
Anyways, I went there for these 2 days with the preparation to be scolded and to face shit. Thankfully, I was prepared for the worst. So nothing that I faced there was worst than what I've guess. I treated every shit like a joke, so like you probably guessed, these 2 days were real funny. The first day started with me greeting a relative, and as I was sick, she couldn't hear me over the noise. So she looked at me and said, "Wah, now grow up already dunno how to greet people already is it?" LOL... My sis asked me to reply, "Wah, now you old already cannot hear already is it?". Of course I didn't say anything. But it's really funny.
My sis got scolded a lot on the second day, for no obvious reasons too. Haas. And the adult insisted that he's right. Damn, my mum was angry at him. Haas. Everything look like a joke to me still. Oh, and loads of people cried when they say my dad's pic. I didn't feel a thing, not even a pinch. I was wondering why they cried. I think I have come to terms that he's gone forever and nothing can bring him back. He's still me beloved father and the one I look upon and respect, but I need not cry cause it'll not bring him back anyway.
Well, I shan't write the other jokes cos it'll take half the day to talk about them. Ask me if you're interested. That's all :)
Thursday, September 25, 2008
Got to start working for my assignments tml. Tml is the day. Partly looking forward and yet dreading it. It's back to the cold and hard seats in school.
Practice resumes tml. I hope I remembr to bring my scores! LOL... Missing the baritone sax. Lets spice it up baby! When the sexy sax comes in~~~
Missing school loads and I have a number of ppl on my list to meet still. Hope I can catch them this holidays! Oh man, I miss the beach.
what I wanna do tml:
- arrange my remt
- practice hard
For now, back to movies! :)
Practice resumes tml. I hope I remembr to bring my scores! LOL... Missing the baritone sax. Lets spice it up baby! When the sexy sax comes in~~~
Missing school loads and I have a number of ppl on my list to meet still. Hope I can catch them this holidays! Oh man, I miss the beach.
what I wanna do tml:
- arrange my remt
- practice hard
For now, back to movies! :)
Once and once again, you hurt me.
Tons and tons of scars you inflict on me.
Days and days of blaming me.
When is it ever enough?
When can you stop it?
When can you open your eyes and look at what I have done for you?
I long to be gone.
I long to fly away and fly up high, into my sky.
I long to let the rain wash away my tears.
I long to be loved once again, when hurt was never in my dictionary of words.
And yet, I still stay by you.
Maybe, maybe I'll be gone one day.
Take care if that ever ever happens.
For now, open your eyes and look at me.
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
Monday, September 22, 2008
Ok... Today finally got mood to talk about Poly Forum! Haas... Btw, if you guys haven't noticed, I am back!!! Tada!!!
Poly Forum started of seriously boring, team building games and such. Then we went to bowl. That was fun and I scored 84 points I think :). It was fun watching Chloe play! So cute... Haas... Anyways, we had BBQ session that night and it turned out to be a sharing session of jokes and such. Quite fun. Spent a whole night talking about stage managing and stuffs later in the night.
So the second day was tiring after not sleeping the night before. But like always, I am more high when I am tired. We went to Hortpark to practice. didn't know such a place existed. A very nice place indeed, if not for the hot hot weather. Practicing under the hot sun is not fun at all, especially when you are in dark blue top and skinnies. Felt like fainting... After that we had a teranium workshop. I just wanted to get over and done with during that. Had some sleep on the second night.
Third day was crazy. Kept rushing about, being the makeup artist as the others aren't available. quite fun though seeing the guys faces and hear them complaint about makeup. Haha. I am evil!!! Anyways, didn't have much time to do my makeup and it was done in a rush. Thankfully, it turned out ok. Just ok. The rehearsal was normal and I was a little afraid that I'll forget stuffs during the performance. Then before I know, the performance has started and it was seriously AWESOME!!! I had real fun and I remembered every single shit. Haas. Kept screaming during the performance. I guess the good thing about percussion is that your mouth is free during performance... There were lots of cam whoring time during the wait for the next performance and talking cock time! LOL... The party after the performance was crazy too! I forgot all about the pain in my toes and the tiredness of my body and kept jumping in heels! LOL... That night was ok... Everyone's tired and wanted to sleep already. I managed to get to the beach but not for long. Mei Xian didn't allow me to stay there myself :(... Managed to get there before sunrise too! Yay! I miss it still... The cool breeze blowing through your hair and the beautiful colours that lights up the sky... Shiok. Thanks to Charles and Mei Xianfor going there with me! :)
Made a lot of friends there during the Poly Forum. Ridwan, Fi Fi, Alif, Amir, JK, Tiac Woooooo, Kit, Jokhie, Charles, Faiz, Eugene, Sylvester, Hanifi, Samuel, Mei Xian, and loads others. Sorry if I miss out any names... Those that I know beforehand not included! Haas... Miss you guys... Loads... Oh, and not forgetting Han and Rene! and my percussion student facilitator. I think she's younger than me! :)
Poly Forum started of seriously boring, team building games and such. Then we went to bowl. That was fun and I scored 84 points I think :). It was fun watching Chloe play! So cute... Haas... Anyways, we had BBQ session that night and it turned out to be a sharing session of jokes and such. Quite fun. Spent a whole night talking about stage managing and stuffs later in the night.
So the second day was tiring after not sleeping the night before. But like always, I am more high when I am tired. We went to Hortpark to practice. didn't know such a place existed. A very nice place indeed, if not for the hot hot weather. Practicing under the hot sun is not fun at all, especially when you are in dark blue top and skinnies. Felt like fainting... After that we had a teranium workshop. I just wanted to get over and done with during that. Had some sleep on the second night.
Third day was crazy. Kept rushing about, being the makeup artist as the others aren't available. quite fun though seeing the guys faces and hear them complaint about makeup. Haha. I am evil!!! Anyways, didn't have much time to do my makeup and it was done in a rush. Thankfully, it turned out ok. Just ok. The rehearsal was normal and I was a little afraid that I'll forget stuffs during the performance. Then before I know, the performance has started and it was seriously AWESOME!!! I had real fun and I remembered every single shit. Haas. Kept screaming during the performance. I guess the good thing about percussion is that your mouth is free during performance... There were lots of cam whoring time during the wait for the next performance and talking cock time! LOL... The party after the performance was crazy too! I forgot all about the pain in my toes and the tiredness of my body and kept jumping in heels! LOL... That night was ok... Everyone's tired and wanted to sleep already. I managed to get to the beach but not for long. Mei Xian didn't allow me to stay there myself :(... Managed to get there before sunrise too! Yay! I miss it still... The cool breeze blowing through your hair and the beautiful colours that lights up the sky... Shiok. Thanks to Charles and Mei Xianfor going there with me! :)
Made a lot of friends there during the Poly Forum. Ridwan, Fi Fi, Alif, Amir, JK, Tiac Woooooo, Kit, Jokhie, Charles, Faiz, Eugene, Sylvester, Hanifi, Samuel, Mei Xian, and loads others. Sorry if I miss out any names... Those that I know beforehand not included! Haas... Miss you guys... Loads... Oh, and not forgetting Han and Rene! and my percussion student facilitator. I think she's younger than me! :)
Sunday, September 21, 2008
Eww... Everything that goes down feels like coming out. How do I gain more weight and fats at this rate? Dimmit!!! Nothing to do just now, so I did something to one of my pics with earphones. I like the effect it gave. Limegreen :)
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Pretty right? LOL... **Vomit**
Anyways, class outing tml... Time to cycle and work my leg muscles! Tone it girl, tone it! Maybe going for a dip in the pool tml? Relax and chill my back... Aching like shit still... Water therapy? Haas... Anyways, saw something interesting today.
Psychology depicts love as a cognitive and social phenomenon. Psychologist Robert Sternberg formulated a triangular theory of love and argued that love has 3 different components: intimacy, commitment, and passion. Intimacy is a form in which 2 people share confidences and various details of their personal lives (usually in friendships and romantic love affairs). Commitment, on the other hand, is the expetation that the relationship is permanent. The last and most common form of love is sexual attraction and passion. Passionate love is shown in infatuation as well as romantic love. All forms of love are viewed as varying combinations of these 3 components.
Following developments in electrical theories, such as Coulomb's law, which showed that positive and negative charges attract, analogs in human life were developed, such as "opposites attract". However, in the last century, research on the nature of human mating has generally found this not to be true. Infact, people tend to like people similar to themselves (I agree!). However, in a few and unusual and specific domains, suchas immune systems, it seems that humans prefer others who ae unlike themselves, since this will lead to a baby which has the best of both worlds (interesting! I also want!). In recent years, various uman bonding theories have been developed, described in terms of attachments, ties, bonds and affinities.
Some western authorities disaggregate into 2 main components, the altruistic and narcissistic. The view is represented in the works of Scott Pect, whose works in the field of applied psychology explored the definitions of love and evil. He maintians that love is a combination of the "cpncern for the spiritual growth of another" and simple narcissism. In combination, love is an activity, no simply a feeling.
Love is an activity! Come on! Let's love!
Pretty right? LOL... **Vomit**
Anyways, class outing tml... Time to cycle and work my leg muscles! Tone it girl, tone it! Maybe going for a dip in the pool tml? Relax and chill my back... Aching like shit still... Water therapy? Haas... Anyways, saw something interesting today.
Psychology depicts love as a cognitive and social phenomenon. Psychologist Robert Sternberg formulated a triangular theory of love and argued that love has 3 different components: intimacy, commitment, and passion. Intimacy is a form in which 2 people share confidences and various details of their personal lives (usually in friendships and romantic love affairs). Commitment, on the other hand, is the expetation that the relationship is permanent. The last and most common form of love is sexual attraction and passion. Passionate love is shown in infatuation as well as romantic love. All forms of love are viewed as varying combinations of these 3 components.
Following developments in electrical theories, such as Coulomb's law, which showed that positive and negative charges attract, analogs in human life were developed, such as "opposites attract". However, in the last century, research on the nature of human mating has generally found this not to be true. Infact, people tend to like people similar to themselves (I agree!). However, in a few and unusual and specific domains, suchas immune systems, it seems that humans prefer others who ae unlike themselves, since this will lead to a baby which has the best of both worlds (interesting! I also want!). In recent years, various uman bonding theories have been developed, described in terms of attachments, ties, bonds and affinities.
Some western authorities disaggregate into 2 main components, the altruistic and narcissistic. The view is represented in the works of Scott Pect, whose works in the field of applied psychology explored the definitions of love and evil. He maintians that love is a combination of the "cpncern for the spiritual growth of another" and simple narcissism. In combination, love is an activity, no simply a feeling.
Love is an activity! Come on! Let's love!
Why would anyone want a boyfriend who's hair is pink, walks and acts like a sissy and everything about him is nothing but pink? and he's nowhere near cool to start with.
Sorry, I am being random. Just needed to get it out.
Btw, peeps! I am officially back from Poly Forum and I need to get started with my assignments! POD 1 and 2, songwriting (haven't handed it it yet) and REMT (which I hope to do with Chloe and Grace)...
Looking forward to the class gathering BBQ tml evening. Missing my fellow DMATs. Dun ask me why, I just miss them!
I wanna get my life back. I've been living without a life for far too long and it's sickening. LOL...
Sorry, I am being random. Just needed to get it out.
Btw, peeps! I am officially back from Poly Forum and I need to get started with my assignments! POD 1 and 2, songwriting (haven't handed it it yet) and REMT (which I hope to do with Chloe and Grace)...
Looking forward to the class gathering BBQ tml evening. Missing my fellow DMATs. Dun ask me why, I just miss them!
I wanna get my life back. I've been living without a life for far too long and it's sickening. LOL...
Thursday, August 28, 2008
I recieved an email from a friend today and this is what it says:
Dancing With God
When I meditated on the word Guidance,
I kept seeing 'dance' at the end of the word.
I remember reading that doing God's will is a lot like dancing.
When two people try to lead, nothing feels right.
The movement doesn't flow with the music,
and everything is quite uncomfortable and jerky.
When one person realises that, and lets the other lead,
both bodies begin to flow with the music.
One gives gentle cues, perhaps with a nudge to the back
or by pressing lightly in one direction or another.
It's as if two become one body, moving beautifully.
The dance takes surrender, willingness,
and attentiveness from one person
and gentle guidance and skill from the other.
My eyes drew back to the word Guidance.
When I saw 'G', I thought of God, followed by 'u' and 'i'.
"God, 'u' and 'i' 'dance'."
God, you and I dance.
As I lowered my head, I became willing to trust
that I would get guidance about my life.
Once again, I became willing to let God lead.
My prayer for you today is that God's blessings
and mercies be upon you on this day and everyday.
May you abide in God as God abides in you.
Dance together with God, trusting God to lead
and to guide you through each season of your life.
This prayer is powerful and there is nothing attached.
If God has done anything for you in your life,
please share this message with someone else,
for prayer is one of the best gifts we can recieve.
There is no cost but a lot of rewards,
so let's continue to pray for one another.
And I Hope You Dance
I am not a christian but I do believe in God (a person with different names in different religions). And I extend this prayer to all my friends and loved ones.
Dancing With God
When I meditated on the word Guidance,
I kept seeing 'dance' at the end of the word.
I remember reading that doing God's will is a lot like dancing.
When two people try to lead, nothing feels right.
The movement doesn't flow with the music,
and everything is quite uncomfortable and jerky.
When one person realises that, and lets the other lead,
both bodies begin to flow with the music.
One gives gentle cues, perhaps with a nudge to the back
or by pressing lightly in one direction or another.
It's as if two become one body, moving beautifully.
The dance takes surrender, willingness,
and attentiveness from one person
and gentle guidance and skill from the other.
My eyes drew back to the word Guidance.
When I saw 'G', I thought of God, followed by 'u' and 'i'.
"God, 'u' and 'i' 'dance'."
God, you and I dance.
As I lowered my head, I became willing to trust
that I would get guidance about my life.
Once again, I became willing to let God lead.
My prayer for you today is that God's blessings
and mercies be upon you on this day and everyday.
May you abide in God as God abides in you.
Dance together with God, trusting God to lead
and to guide you through each season of your life.
This prayer is powerful and there is nothing attached.
If God has done anything for you in your life,
please share this message with someone else,
for prayer is one of the best gifts we can recieve.
There is no cost but a lot of rewards,
so let's continue to pray for one another.
And I Hope You Dance
I am not a christian but I do believe in God (a person with different names in different religions). And I extend this prayer to all my friends and loved ones.
Thursday, August 21, 2008
Monday, August 04, 2008
Friday, August 01, 2008
I guess I've been trying too hard. I guess I've given too much. And I guess that it's true that when you give someone something, they'll ask for more. And I've got no more to give. I am drained.
idunseemtounderstandanyoneanymoreandifindittiringtojustkeepsmilingatyourlongfaceiamhumanandihavemyemoionstooididallicanforyoubutidunseemtogetanythingbackinreturnwhatdoyouwantyousayiduncareenoughhowaboutyouididallicantotrytomakeyouhappierbutyouignoredmeandyetyouwantmorecareidununderstandanymoreseriouslytiredofitall
idunseemtounderstandanyoneanymoreandifindittiringtojustkeepsmilingatyourlongfaceiamhumanandihavemyemoionstooididallicanforyoubutidunseemtogetanythingbackinreturnwhatdoyouwantyousayiduncareenoughhowaboutyouididallicantotrytomakeyouhappierbutyouignoredmeandyetyouwantmorecareidununderstandanymoreseriouslytiredofitall
Monday, July 28, 2008
Assignments!!!
Assignments to be completed:
PAM term paper - 5th Aug (Tue) - half done (need to go find books)
POD Coursework 2 - 13th Aug (Wed) - only recorded drums (mixing and other recording to be done)
Arranging Assignment 2 - 13th Aug (Wed) 4pm - only wrote out voicings (need to do drops and other stuffs)
MUMI assignment 2 - 15th Aug (Fri) 4pm - concept done (mixing and other stuffs to be done)
GEMS report - 8th Aug - not started
Camp proposal - Mid Aug
PAM term paper - 5th Aug (Tue) - half done (need to go find books)
POD Coursework 2 - 13th Aug (Wed) - only recorded drums (mixing and other recording to be done)
Arranging Assignment 2 - 13th Aug (Wed) 4pm - only wrote out voicings (need to do drops and other stuffs)
MUMI assignment 2 - 15th Aug (Fri) 4pm - concept done (mixing and other stuffs to be done)
GEMS report - 8th Aug - not started
Camp proposal - Mid Aug
Sunday, July 20, 2008
I just finished looking at manga series "Absolute Boyfriend".
It's so sweet with a sad ending. And it made me cry. :(
I love beginnings and the whole process after that, other than endings.
I absolutely hate them and I can't bear having to go through them.
Why must there be an ending when things are so good? I hate it when good things end.
And sometimes, end too quickly...
It's so sweet with a sad ending. And it made me cry. :(
I love beginnings and the whole process after that, other than endings.
I absolutely hate them and I can't bear having to go through them.
Why must there be an ending when things are so good? I hate it when good things end.
And sometimes, end too quickly...
Saturday, July 19, 2008
I am so caught up by "Vampire Knight" now. They are all so beautifully handsome. Oh god... *Drool...
Ok, back to reality. Things that I have to complete by this weekend:
1. come up with the camp schedule and the detailed roles for everyone
2. update the meeting minutes
3. do arranging (construct chords and melody)
4. write song for POD
5. look through the camp stuff carefully and start planning for meeting
6. write PAM report
Ok, back to reality. Things that I have to complete by this weekend:
1. come up with the camp schedule and the detailed roles for everyone
2. update the meeting minutes
3. do arranging (construct chords and melody)
4. write song for POD
5. look through the camp stuff carefully and start planning for meeting
6. write PAM report
Thursday, July 17, 2008
The guys made me cry today. So paiseh...
We had songwriting today and we needed to change the lyrics of "Yesterday". And Evan's group went to write a song on Jimmy's soon to be departure. When I read it, I just felt slightly sad and funny the way they wrote it. But when they sang it to Jimmy, tears just flow out of my eyes and I can't stop them.
I will miss Jimmy a lot. Being a small and cosy course, and with lecturers teaching us for at least two years, I can't bear to see them leave. And Jimmy also happens to be one of the lecturers that I look up to. Both my POD works are somewhat related to him (songwriting and business of music).
Part of the reason why I want to do the camp is to prove to him and the lecturers that with what they thought us, we have the capability to excel. And they did a great job in teaching us. DMAT lecturers are seriously a great bunch of responsible lecturers.
I don't want him to go. But I won't make him stay in this crap place if he can't take it anymore. We'll all miss him when he leaves. And I'll probably cry again :(
Don't know whay I am so emotional today. I guess I always am.
We had songwriting today and we needed to change the lyrics of "Yesterday". And Evan's group went to write a song on Jimmy's soon to be departure. When I read it, I just felt slightly sad and funny the way they wrote it. But when they sang it to Jimmy, tears just flow out of my eyes and I can't stop them.
I will miss Jimmy a lot. Being a small and cosy course, and with lecturers teaching us for at least two years, I can't bear to see them leave. And Jimmy also happens to be one of the lecturers that I look up to. Both my POD works are somewhat related to him (songwriting and business of music).
Part of the reason why I want to do the camp is to prove to him and the lecturers that with what they thought us, we have the capability to excel. And they did a great job in teaching us. DMAT lecturers are seriously a great bunch of responsible lecturers.
I don't want him to go. But I won't make him stay in this crap place if he can't take it anymore. We'll all miss him when he leaves. And I'll probably cry again :(
Don't know whay I am so emotional today. I guess I always am.
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
Argh... I am so so so so so tired.
Tired of ppl's pretense (but I guess it happens everywhere).
Why can't ppl just be straightforward and trash things out? Just say it when you are unhappy with something.
I dun hate TT, just feel funny with all the things and games that she's playing. I dun understand the need for playing such games (that goes for a lot of ppl too). It's like you don't know who to trust anymore.
I didn't feel so emo till today. The thing is, I probably know that all these are happening, but I just turned a blind eye to it. But now it's stuck in front of me, I just feel sad that all these is happening.
I guess I'll turn a blind eye to it again after a good night's sleep. :)
At least I know a person that I can fully trust!
Tired of ppl's pretense (but I guess it happens everywhere).
Why can't ppl just be straightforward and trash things out? Just say it when you are unhappy with something.
I dun hate TT, just feel funny with all the things and games that she's playing. I dun understand the need for playing such games (that goes for a lot of ppl too). It's like you don't know who to trust anymore.
I didn't feel so emo till today. The thing is, I probably know that all these are happening, but I just turned a blind eye to it. But now it's stuck in front of me, I just feel sad that all these is happening.
I guess I'll turn a blind eye to it again after a good night's sleep. :)
At least I know a person that I can fully trust!
Things left to be completed
Assignments to be completed:
PAM presentation - 18th July (Fri) 10.30am
PAM term paper - 1st Aug (Fri) 5pm
POD Coursework 2 - Week 18
Arranging Assignment 2 - 13th Aug (Wed) 4pm
MUMI assignment 2 - 15th Aug (Fri) 4pm
GEMS report - 8th Aug
Camp proposal - End July
DIE!!!
PAM presentation - 18th July (Fri) 10.30am
PAM term paper - 1st Aug (Fri) 5pm
POD Coursework 2 - Week 18
Arranging Assignment 2 - 13th Aug (Wed) 4pm
MUMI assignment 2 - 15th Aug (Fri) 4pm
GEMS report - 8th Aug
Camp proposal - End July
DIE!!!
Wednesday, July 09, 2008
Was being seriously random today.
Was still having motion sickness in the morning, so I didn't appear for songwriting. I seriously don't wanna miss it, but I can't get out of bed.
Went to gems and did my presentation today. Then went up to t20 to find that electronic band practice is cancelled. I was actually looking forward to it.
Then met min ru and we went to eat at fc5 and I bought a new winnie the pooh mouse. It's so so so cute. Love it.
As I said, this is a random blog. Haas...
Was still having motion sickness in the morning, so I didn't appear for songwriting. I seriously don't wanna miss it, but I can't get out of bed.
Went to gems and did my presentation today. Then went up to t20 to find that electronic band practice is cancelled. I was actually looking forward to it.
Then met min ru and we went to eat at fc5 and I bought a new winnie the pooh mouse. It's so so so cute. Love it.
As I said, this is a random blog. Haas...
Sunday, July 06, 2008
THE POWER OF SLEEP
Sleep to be SEXY, SMART and SLIM. The need of sleep is growingly being viewed as a sign of weakness for some people. However, by not sleeping, you feel groggy and none of your systems are firing on all cylinders. You don't think straight, make good decisions, remember where you parked your car or feel like making love.
And worst still, the resulting chemical glithches will put you on the fast track for heart disease, stroke, diabetes and even obesity.
Here are some strategies for a good night sleep.
The daily schedule
1. Wake up at the same time everyday. Sunlight activates the brain and activating it at the same time every morning teaches your brain that at midnight it's supposed to be asleep and at noon it's supposed to be awake.
2. Give yourself an hour right before bed. You need to wind down and make the transition from the person-who-can-do-everything to the person-who-can-sleep. Do not do housechores, take care of children, do activities with family members, go online nor catch up with work.
3. Put yourself first. Put your needs ahead of others. If your partner snoring wakes you up, help him get treatment. If he refuses to cooperate, put him in another room.
Work and life
1. Dump the 24/7 stuff. Draw up your to-do list, then take a big breath and start crossing things off. You'll realise that you really don't have to do it all.
2. Don't work so late. The prevailing thought is that you have to stay late to get the job done. The truth is that it's better to go get some sleep, then come back to do more work in the morning.
3. Manage the electronics. Turn off your mobile in the evening, and the instant notification on your email too. Switch off the monitor ditch the night light and rotate the clock-radio display. Total darkness tells your brain that it’s time to sleep.
Interested to know more? Read Reader's Digest July 2008 issue :)
And no, I'm not advertising.
Sleep to be SEXY, SMART and SLIM. The need of sleep is growingly being viewed as a sign of weakness for some people. However, by not sleeping, you feel groggy and none of your systems are firing on all cylinders. You don't think straight, make good decisions, remember where you parked your car or feel like making love.
And worst still, the resulting chemical glithches will put you on the fast track for heart disease, stroke, diabetes and even obesity.
Here are some strategies for a good night sleep.
The daily schedule
1. Wake up at the same time everyday. Sunlight activates the brain and activating it at the same time every morning teaches your brain that at midnight it's supposed to be asleep and at noon it's supposed to be awake.
2. Give yourself an hour right before bed. You need to wind down and make the transition from the person-who-can-do-everything to the person-who-can-sleep. Do not do housechores, take care of children, do activities with family members, go online nor catch up with work.
3. Put yourself first. Put your needs ahead of others. If your partner snoring wakes you up, help him get treatment. If he refuses to cooperate, put him in another room.
Work and life
1. Dump the 24/7 stuff. Draw up your to-do list, then take a big breath and start crossing things off. You'll realise that you really don't have to do it all.
2. Don't work so late. The prevailing thought is that you have to stay late to get the job done. The truth is that it's better to go get some sleep, then come back to do more work in the morning.
3. Manage the electronics. Turn off your mobile in the evening, and the instant notification on your email too. Switch off the monitor ditch the night light and rotate the clock-radio display. Total darkness tells your brain that it’s time to sleep.
Interested to know more? Read Reader's Digest July 2008 issue :)
And no, I'm not advertising.
Friday, July 04, 2008
Sunday, June 29, 2008
Well, life seems to be slightly going back to it's track.
After all the mess and chaos... it seems to have toned down a little...
I prefer it like that though...
I like my life organised... I need to know what's happening next...
I don't really like surprises unless they are seriously nice...
Done with PAM... Left with Arranging transcription and report, songwriting score and recording, REMT cover song... God... How do I complete it all?
Songwriting dued on wed (haven't started!!! gosh!)
Arranging dued on fri
REMT dued next fri
After all the mess and chaos... it seems to have toned down a little...
I prefer it like that though...
I like my life organised... I need to know what's happening next...
I don't really like surprises unless they are seriously nice...
Done with PAM... Left with Arranging transcription and report, songwriting score and recording, REMT cover song... God... How do I complete it all?
Songwriting dued on wed (haven't started!!! gosh!)
Arranging dued on fri
REMT dued next fri
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
Crazy days
I am gonna rest for a while by blogging...
Damn tired...
Have been rushing and rushing since school starts.
Or actually through the whole holiday...
I am so tired tt I keep zoning out...
Fell asleep before I could do anything ystd when I reach home...
Crazy days man...
And I am now taking up a job as coordinator for my internship company...
2 days... Friday will be end of everything...
I am seriously happy to see them all again... I miss them so much...
Vernon had half his tummy left.
Eugene got over Vernon's tummy and got a goatee.
Ms Wong dyed her hair... so cool...
Melvin has more white hair...
Haas... First time I miss my collegues so much...
They're just so fun to be with no matter how stressful the work is :)
Damn tired...
Have been rushing and rushing since school starts.
Or actually through the whole holiday...
I am so tired tt I keep zoning out...
Fell asleep before I could do anything ystd when I reach home...
Crazy days man...
And I am now taking up a job as coordinator for my internship company...
2 days... Friday will be end of everything...
I am seriously happy to see them all again... I miss them so much...
Vernon had half his tummy left.
Eugene got over Vernon's tummy and got a goatee.
Ms Wong dyed her hair... so cool...
Melvin has more white hair...
Haas... First time I miss my collegues so much...
They're just so fun to be with no matter how stressful the work is :)
Friday, June 13, 2008
Finally breaking the silence
Well, I am going to break the silence that I had for a few days which I talked through pictures.
Just to update a little:
Mon - Recorded guitar from my REMT cover
Tue - Played sax for Serene's REMT cover
Wed - Met up with baby and then went to the chalet
Thurs - P CONNECTED day at NYP
The trip to NYP was stupid and time wasting. I felt like we were degraded to 7 year olds there with all the games they were playing. LOL... I couldn't wait to get out of there.
Just to update a little:
Mon - Recorded guitar from my REMT cover
Tue - Played sax for Serene's REMT cover
Wed - Met up with baby and then went to the chalet
Thurs - P CONNECTED day at NYP
The trip to NYP was stupid and time wasting. I felt like we were degraded to 7 year olds there with all the games they were playing. LOL... I couldn't wait to get out of there.
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
Monday, June 09, 2008
Sunday, June 08, 2008
bu zuo ni de peng you by S.H.E.
man man shi yi
suo you he ni de shi qing bi xu wang ji
ai de pen di
shen pa zai yi di yan lei jiu hui jue ti
wo ye bu xiang bei ni ken ding
zai zhe ge shi hou
shuo wo rang ni gan dong guo
bie wo zhu wo de shou
shuo wo yi ding hui dong
zhuo bu cheng de ai ren bian cheng zui hao peng you
bie qian zhe wo de shou
xiang zhe bie ren lian kong
huan ge fang shi qian shou bing bu hui gen hao guo
ke bu ke yi bu zuo ni de peng you
man man xin tong
mei you ren fa xian wo he cong qian bu tong
ni de yan zhong
kan de jian ling yi ge ren gei de gan dong
wo ye bu yao ni xin teng wo
zai zhe ge shi hou
dui wo bi cong qian wen rou
ying gai fang qing de tian qi
hai xia yu
bie zhe yang xia qu
wo nan guo
dan shi shuo bu chu kou
yi zhi tao bi
wo yi wei bi shang yan jing
jiu neng wang ji
wo de ji yi
kai shi zai yu tian de qi yue
er shi shan man man jing guo
wo men yi qi rao guo de shi zhi jie kou
zhe me zhou tou zhou bu dao jing tou
ke bu ke yi bu hui tou
ke bu ke yi jiu fang shou
ke bu ke yi bu zhuo ni de peng you
man man shi yi
suo you he ni de shi qing bi xu wang ji
ai de pen di
shen pa zai yi di yan lei jiu hui jue ti
wo ye bu xiang bei ni ken ding
zai zhe ge shi hou
shuo wo rang ni gan dong guo
bie wo zhu wo de shou
shuo wo yi ding hui dong
zhuo bu cheng de ai ren bian cheng zui hao peng you
bie qian zhe wo de shou
xiang zhe bie ren lian kong
huan ge fang shi qian shou bing bu hui gen hao guo
ke bu ke yi bu zuo ni de peng you
man man xin tong
mei you ren fa xian wo he cong qian bu tong
ni de yan zhong
kan de jian ling yi ge ren gei de gan dong
wo ye bu yao ni xin teng wo
zai zhe ge shi hou
dui wo bi cong qian wen rou
ying gai fang qing de tian qi
hai xia yu
bie zhe yang xia qu
wo nan guo
dan shi shuo bu chu kou
yi zhi tao bi
wo yi wei bi shang yan jing
jiu neng wang ji
wo de ji yi
kai shi zai yu tian de qi yue
er shi shan man man jing guo
wo men yi qi rao guo de shi zhi jie kou
zhe me zhou tou zhou bu dao jing tou
ke bu ke yi bu hui tou
ke bu ke yi jiu fang shou
ke bu ke yi bu zhuo ni de peng you
Wednesday, June 04, 2008
Today was like a loving yet painful day for me.I feel love and pain at the same time... Yet another confusing day for me...
The performance was quite nice today other than the frequent cracks from the bass due to the speakers. I am really starting to love the song collide by howie day...
Collide by Howie Day
The dawn is breaking
A light shining through
You're barely waking
And I'm tangled up in you
Yeah
I'm open, you're closed
Where I follow, you'll go
I worry I won't see your face
Light up again
Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the wrong words seem to rhyme
Out of the doubt that fills my mind
I somehow find
You and I collide
I'm quiet you know
You make a first impression
I've found I'm scared to know
I'm always on your mind
Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the stars refuse to shine
Out of the back you fall in time
I somehow find
You and I collide
Don't stop here
I've lost my place
I'm close behind
Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the wrong words seem to ryhme
Out of the doubt that fills your mind
You finally find
You and I collide
You finally find
You and I collide
You finally find
You and I collide
Tuesday, June 03, 2008
Well, just to summarise my two days.
Mon:
Got my table from IKEA
Had meeting for the camp and it didn't went as well as I wanted it to. Shall skip the details...
Went out with the 3 of them for dinner.
Mon:
Got my table from IKEA
Had meeting for the camp and it didn't went as well as I wanted it to. Shall skip the details...
Went out with the 3 of them for dinner.
Today:
CCF duty in the morning
SP Experience duty after that. I was doing the coordinating stuffs... Running about is tiring but fun man.
Dinner with Jon, Amelia and her twin. I love her twin too! ;)
And I am now pissed with someone...
CCF duty in the morning
SP Experience duty after that. I was doing the coordinating stuffs... Running about is tiring but fun man.
Dinner with Jon, Amelia and her twin. I love her twin too! ;)
And I am now pissed with someone...
Monday, June 02, 2008
Life is seriously confusing at times...
Things come into your life when everything's stable and messes it up, just when you least expect it to.
And then, suddenly... they are gone again...
But everything in your life is still messed up... And some mess can never be reverted again... Just like the tearing of paper. Just like hurt and pain...
Nobody knows... I am out, or so I hope I am.
Sunday, June 01, 2008
I'm posting again cos I saw something that I really have to let out...
Went surfing on my cousins friendster and of course some friends too. And I went on to look at one of my cousin's blog...
I haven't heard from her for extremely long, although I did hear about her from others. I just knew that her family is going to keep away, they hate my uncle (their dad), the sisters went to Korea to have their eyelids made double (and they are back already)... Then I saw things like her clubbing her life away from the look of her friendster as well as blog... Today, I realised that her mum thought her how to smoke...
OMG...
I dunno what to say, how to say and how to feel... I am shocked, angry, depressed, sad, and everything else... All at the same time... I still find it hard to breathe now...
What's happening? Really, can someone just tell me what's happening?
I feel sad that I wasn't there for her, or actually, can't be with her all these while. Could I have done something to help and perhaps it wouldn't be so bad? I feel depressed that other than waiting for her reply and waiting for her to tell me something, I can't do anything else...
I sort of understand how she feels cos we both have depressed members in our family, though hers is much much worst... I wanna help... But I don't know how...
Went surfing on my cousins friendster and of course some friends too. And I went on to look at one of my cousin's blog...
I haven't heard from her for extremely long, although I did hear about her from others. I just knew that her family is going to keep away, they hate my uncle (their dad), the sisters went to Korea to have their eyelids made double (and they are back already)... Then I saw things like her clubbing her life away from the look of her friendster as well as blog... Today, I realised that her mum thought her how to smoke...
OMG...
I dunno what to say, how to say and how to feel... I am shocked, angry, depressed, sad, and everything else... All at the same time... I still find it hard to breathe now...
What's happening? Really, can someone just tell me what's happening?
I feel sad that I wasn't there for her, or actually, can't be with her all these while. Could I have done something to help and perhaps it wouldn't be so bad? I feel depressed that other than waiting for her reply and waiting for her to tell me something, I can't do anything else...
I sort of understand how she feels cos we both have depressed members in our family, though hers is much much worst... I wanna help... But I don't know how...
I am seriously on a shopping spree:
I bought a pair of shorts ystd.
Then I went to Bugis after my tuition today to get 2 tops, a pair of jeans and a belt.
Spent like 98 bucks on everything.
Feeling very happy yet painful about it...
Haas... Happy that I got new clothes, and painful that I lost the money... LOL...
But I think it's worth it! ;)
My clothes have all outgrown me. I've got not much clothes to wear now...
Two sets of clothes isn't too much (trying desperately to tell myself that it's fine to spurge once in a while)...
Hee...
Friday, May 30, 2008
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Thursday, May 29, 2008
take me
Life's always a struggle. I've fallen and climbed my way back. I fell once again, and I'm making my way back.
Nobody's perfect I know, and now it's time for me to learn to accept imperfections...
I'm here. Take me.
I can make it through the rain!
Through The Rain lyrics by Mariah Carey
When you get caught in the rain
Nobody's perfect I know, and now it's time for me to learn to accept imperfections...
I'm here. Take me.
I can make it through the rain!
Through The Rain lyrics by Mariah Carey
When you get caught in the rain
With nowhere to run
When you're distraught
And in pain without anyone
When you keep crying out to be saved
When you keep crying out to be saved
But nobody comes
And you feel so far away
That you just can't find you way home
Your can get there alone
It's okay
Once you say
I can make it through the rain
I can make it through the rain
I can stand up once again
On my own and I know
That I'm strong enough to mend
And every time I feel afraid
I hold tighter to my faith
And I live one more day
And I make it through the rain
And if you keep falling down
And if you keep falling down
Don't you dare give in
You will arise safe and sound
So keep pressing on steadfastly
And you'll find what you need to prevail
Once you say
I can make it through the rain
I can make it through the rain
I can stand up once again
On my own and I know
That I'm strong enough to mend
And every time I feel afraid
I hold tighter to my faith
And I live one more day
And I make it through the rain
And when the wind blows
And when the wind blows
And shadows grow close
Don't be afraid
There's nothing you can't face
And should they tell you
You'll never pull through
Don't hesitate
Stand tall and say
Yeah yeah yeahhhh
I can make it through the rain
I can make it through the rain
I can stand up once again
On my own and I know
That I'm strong enough to mend
And every time I feel afraid
I hold tighter to my faith
And I live one more day
And I make it through the rain
I can make it through the rain
I can make it through the rain
Can stand up once again
And I'll live one more day, and I
I can make it through the rain
Oh yes you can
You're gonna make it through the rain
http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/m/mariah_carey/through_the_rain.html
http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/m/mariah_carey/through_the_rain.html
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
Wel, haven't blogged since the 2nd day of sch...
LOL... Many things happened along the way.
Just to summarise:
1. there is a hell lot of work to be done and handed in (arranging, MUMI, PAM, REMT, POD)
2. I got to know a few year ones and I really love being with them (Zaki, Jon, Amelia)
3. They are in my camp planning committee! YAY! (clap clap)
4. I've got four tuition kids on hand right now. Not tt I really want to, but no choice.
5. I've got performance tml and I am sick. =(
6. Got to attend Li Ting's wedding on 22/6 and be her group of sisters. (meeting this fri)
7. Got to help out with the logic tour for the sec sch students (3/6 to 5/6)
8. Got to go for the poly forum (16/9 to 19/9)
9. Went for my cousin's wedding
10. Brought the tuition kids to sentosa to play
11. Completed perfomance today
LOL... Many things happened along the way.
Just to summarise:
1. there is a hell lot of work to be done and handed in (arranging, MUMI, PAM, REMT, POD)
2. I got to know a few year ones and I really love being with them (Zaki, Jon, Amelia)
3. They are in my camp planning committee! YAY! (clap clap)
4. I've got four tuition kids on hand right now. Not tt I really want to, but no choice.
5. I've got performance tml and I am sick. =(
6. Got to attend Li Ting's wedding on 22/6 and be her group of sisters. (meeting this fri)
7. Got to help out with the logic tour for the sec sch students (3/6 to 5/6)
8. Got to go for the poly forum (16/9 to 19/9)
9. Went for my cousin's wedding
10. Brought the tuition kids to sentosa to play
11. Completed perfomance today
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
Second day of school
Second day of school started a little stressful with Arranging class.
Seems like I've got a lot to learn. Got to get my keyboard class started soon.
Ended of with PAM and I am still trying to appreciate it. Almost fell asleep in class today. I've got to learn to love it.
Still thinking of what I should do for POD. No ideas are flashing into my head yet...
Jiayou to all!
May go back to office on thurs. Kindda missing the environment there.
Seems like I've got a lot to learn. Got to get my keyboard class started soon.
Ended of with PAM and I am still trying to appreciate it. Almost fell asleep in class today. I've got to learn to love it.
Still thinking of what I should do for POD. No ideas are flashing into my head yet...
Jiayou to all!
May go back to office on thurs. Kindda missing the environment there.
Monday, April 14, 2008
First day of school!
Today's the first day of school. Still feeling the post-work syndrome. haas. Work up today feeling that I have to go to work, have to iron clothes for work.
suddenly without having the ned to iron clothes, I dunno what to wear to sch. Haas. So funny. Stood facing the clothes for quite some time this morning.
Went to do express manicure today. Vivian went with me. So sweet of her to accompany me.
Going to kbox with Audy tml morning before sch! So happie!!!
suddenly without having the ned to iron clothes, I dunno what to wear to sch. Haas. So funny. Stood facing the clothes for quite some time this morning.
Went to do express manicure today. Vivian went with me. So sweet of her to accompany me.
Going to kbox with Audy tml morning before sch! So happie!!!
Monday, February 18, 2008
Updates!!!
Well, this entry is for Ginny. Haas... Cos she ask me for an update.
Well, lessons for year two is over. And now I'm having my attachment with CPG Productions. It's very enriching there. I've learnt like a thousand and one things there (maybe more!). Haas. So, it's quite tiring at first to adapt. But, I am adapting nicely now =). Still need my collegues to keep guiding me though.
Love life is cute. A shan't share details. Ask me if you wanna know! =P... Some things are still un-tell-able... Haas. Eyeore...
Missing school a little - all the slacking, bitching and talk-cocking days... Haas.
And I miss you GINNY!!!
Rem me when you buy gifts on the way back from China kays!!!
Haas.
Well, lessons for year two is over. And now I'm having my attachment with CPG Productions. It's very enriching there. I've learnt like a thousand and one things there (maybe more!). Haas. So, it's quite tiring at first to adapt. But, I am adapting nicely now =). Still need my collegues to keep guiding me though.
Love life is cute. A shan't share details. Ask me if you wanna know! =P... Some things are still un-tell-able... Haas. Eyeore...
Missing school a little - all the slacking, bitching and talk-cocking days... Haas.
And I miss you GINNY!!!
Rem me when you buy gifts on the way back from China kays!!!
Haas.
Tuesday, December 04, 2007
Lots and lots of things to be done...
Midi - nearest assignment deadline is next week, test is also next week (argh!!!)
MTV - dued on week 15
PERF - next week is my solo presentation on fri, and we have performance after our holidays...
REMT - assessment is next mon!!! argh! We have to perform that day!!! Drums!!! Oh...
MUST - test and presentation both on week 15
BUMS - music camp, got to find time to talk to Jimmy about talking to Dr Tan
Midi - nearest assignment deadline is next week, test is also next week (argh!!!)
MTV - dued on week 15
PERF - next week is my solo presentation on fri, and we have performance after our holidays...
REMT - assessment is next mon!!! argh! We have to perform that day!!! Drums!!! Oh...
MUST - test and presentation both on week 15
BUMS - music camp, got to find time to talk to Jimmy about talking to Dr Tan
Tuesday, November 27, 2007
Saturday, October 27, 2007
Haven been blogging recently. Too busy to update my blog. Firstly, the training for the amphitheatre lights and sound have started. It made the few of us go mad (namely the year 2s). Haas. Too shag le...
Next week will be a buzy week. By right it should be slacking week, but not for us. There's DVPT, BUMS, REMT, and the training to think about. And I am only talking about those that I remember. I still have things that I don't remember but have to do.
Been really busy to hang out with my baby recently. Next week we'll have a lot of time together - hopefully.
I still feel sian about having to dance for DVPT's MTV. I am really uninterested in dancing for our MTV. Regreted singing for it. I should have rejected it when they asked me to sing that song, then I wouldn't have to dance then. Too bad it's a group project. But like always, I want to be able to do it at least to a certain standard. I definitely don't wanna look like shit on the MTV. No hairbands, no two ponytails - it's so NOT ME! Keep me simple please. I am doing all these just because it's a group project and I try to suit the group, but not too far.
Anyway, I feel so tired doing all these man. The most funny thing is Pei Ling ask me on friday, "Pearlin, you bu shuang we all doing this is it?" LOL... What a word to use... Not bu shuang, is sian... I rather see actions than words. Talk too much cannot do also no use, it's still equal to zero... But at least they not as bad as no actions at all lah... But I think we need to learn to work fast. And I think we really need to learn to talk in a "politically correct" manner. It's really important. But she not bad lah. At least smile when she's saying that. But her face and her words dun match. LOL.
LMAO. Laughing is the best remedy man. I still believe in that. When you learn to laugh at things in life and yourself, everything becomes much easier. But I still can't get my perfecctionalism totally off me. But I guess it's good to stay like that too. At least I get things done, or I'll be damn slack. Be forgiving to others and strict on yourself, I am making myself fufill that... I have many responsibilities in life. That's what I always remind myself.
Next week will be a buzy week. By right it should be slacking week, but not for us. There's DVPT, BUMS, REMT, and the training to think about. And I am only talking about those that I remember. I still have things that I don't remember but have to do.
Been really busy to hang out with my baby recently. Next week we'll have a lot of time together - hopefully.
I still feel sian about having to dance for DVPT's MTV. I am really uninterested in dancing for our MTV. Regreted singing for it. I should have rejected it when they asked me to sing that song, then I wouldn't have to dance then. Too bad it's a group project. But like always, I want to be able to do it at least to a certain standard. I definitely don't wanna look like shit on the MTV. No hairbands, no two ponytails - it's so NOT ME! Keep me simple please. I am doing all these just because it's a group project and I try to suit the group, but not too far.
Anyway, I feel so tired doing all these man. The most funny thing is Pei Ling ask me on friday, "Pearlin, you bu shuang we all doing this is it?" LOL... What a word to use... Not bu shuang, is sian... I rather see actions than words. Talk too much cannot do also no use, it's still equal to zero... But at least they not as bad as no actions at all lah... But I think we need to learn to work fast. And I think we really need to learn to talk in a "politically correct" manner. It's really important. But she not bad lah. At least smile when she's saying that. But her face and her words dun match. LOL.
LMAO. Laughing is the best remedy man. I still believe in that. When you learn to laugh at things in life and yourself, everything becomes much easier. But I still can't get my perfecctionalism totally off me. But I guess it's good to stay like that too. At least I get things done, or I'll be damn slack. Be forgiving to others and strict on yourself, I am making myself fufill that... I have many responsibilities in life. That's what I always remind myself.
Wednesday, October 17, 2007
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
Thursday, October 11, 2007
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
I am just so disappointed with a fren.
I still feel disappointed now.
Ystd's trip to clementi and playing of pool with audy and mandy was really really fun. I laughed till my stomach muscles ache. It's the first time I've played pool laughing all the way. They are just so funny. And hopefully they are alright now. I really want them to be friends again. If I find a chance, I'll try to get the video of mandy's funny stuffs on my blog. Should have taken some photos ystd. LOL.
Sylvester was being a bad boy ystd. stayed in the arcade for so long playing dota. Naughty boy =). I still love him anyway. He's my boy. Haas.
I was a good girl ystd. I reached home, bathed and sat on my bed and did music theory. Haas. And Then I went to sleep.
They funny thing was that I woke up at 7am by myself today without my alarm clock. =). I am such a good good girl. I deserve to get a very nice treatment today. =)
I still feel disappointed now.
Ystd's trip to clementi and playing of pool with audy and mandy was really really fun. I laughed till my stomach muscles ache. It's the first time I've played pool laughing all the way. They are just so funny. And hopefully they are alright now. I really want them to be friends again. If I find a chance, I'll try to get the video of mandy's funny stuffs on my blog. Should have taken some photos ystd. LOL.
Sylvester was being a bad boy ystd. stayed in the arcade for so long playing dota. Naughty boy =). I still love him anyway. He's my boy. Haas.
I was a good girl ystd. I reached home, bathed and sat on my bed and did music theory. Haas. And Then I went to sleep.
They funny thing was that I woke up at 7am by myself today without my alarm clock. =). I am such a good good girl. I deserve to get a very nice treatment today. =)
Sunday, October 07, 2007
Thursday, October 04, 2007
Amanda rocks man!
All those who missed her performance ystd must regret it...
She stole the limelight of every performer ystd...
She's so hot, sexy and sensual...
I shall post the photos when I get my hands on them...
It was maddening...
Rain and Mel got gaga over her...
Screaming like little girls over something they really like - they are so cute.
You should have seen them.
Amanda makes me feel like taking Drama for gems... But I dun think I have the chance to do so though. =(
I love my friends, especially DMATters. =)
All those who missed her performance ystd must regret it...
She stole the limelight of every performer ystd...
She's so hot, sexy and sensual...
I shall post the photos when I get my hands on them...
It was maddening...
Rain and Mel got gaga over her...
Screaming like little girls over something they really like - they are so cute.
You should have seen them.
Amanda makes me feel like taking Drama for gems... But I dun think I have the chance to do so though. =(
I love my friends, especially DMATters. =)
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